Nice To Meet You Brothers!

Space the final frontier, no wait that’s been done to death. In a galaxy far far away… no that’s such a lame line too. A planet from a galaxy far away… no, that sucks too. Hey dudes, i’m from a planet called Casiopie, full of slow jams and sexy bass lines. That’s right all two people, our whole planets culture is based on the work of some japanese band from the 70’s. We’re not sure how that worked either. Probably time travel. That’s what the elders always said.

So anyways i was at home and fooling around with my satellite when all of a sudden BAM! I heard something. It was some weird noise from some weird looking animals man. They were like singing and dancing and stuff. Then i saw it. They were in bright colors man. Real nice like. And they were just fighting each other! It was so phat man. Slick like butter.

I found myself watching this small little screen for hours on end. Entranced with what i was seeing man. This rah-sul-ing thing was the coolest of them all though. Those big meaty brothers as the champion called them were just so tubular man. But i think that’s enough about me dude. For now anyways. Now i gotta tell you why, or how i got to Wrestle World.

Honestly it’s still a little fuzzy and my head is really hurting, but i think it was a machine or a flash. I saw bright lights after stepping through some gate or something, but man was it wild. Then i find myself on this strange planet man. But it wasn’t really strange at all. I’d seen it on my screen for decades man. I’d recognize that building from anywhere. That’s Madison Square Garden! That’s where the champion lives!

Before i could even go in i heard screams everywhere. But then there was this super radical brother who walked up to me. Man what a nice guy he was.

Man: “Hey fella, you not from around here are ya?”

Axel: “No brother i’m not from around here at all. I’m from Planet Cassiopeia.”

After i said that the man would just laugh at me before patting my back.

Man: “Planet… hahaha oh boy kid, you’re a good jokester. But the size o’ ya. I could see you making m- i mean us some money! You know how ta wrestle kid?”

Axel: “Oh yes i know all about the wrestling! Are you a brother man?”

Man: “So whatcha out here for anyway?”

Axel: “I wanna meet the champion brother! He’s been my hero since i first saw him!”

Man: “Well kid meh names Ffur an’ i just so happen know how ta get you a chance ta meet the champion! Ya wanna go in there kid and meet ya hero right?”

Axel: “Yes Ffuhr yes!”

So anyways he talked to me about how to meet the brothers and how i’d have to fight ‘em all to meet the champion brother. We started training and eventually he saw an opening in this Wrestleworld place. So now i’m here teaming up with a brother to fight other brothers. It’s a tag team match as they call it. I saw the champ team with his best friend oh yeah brother in a match like this.

”MY NAME IS AXEL TOPNOTCH AND I COME FROM PLANET CASSIOPEIA BROTHERS! MY FRIEND LOU C. FFUHR TOLD ME TO FIGHT YOU BROTHERS AND I CAN MEET MY HERO, THE CHAMP! SO THAT’S JUST WHAT I’M GONNA DO!”

I’d flex my pythons to make me look cool and intimidating.

”I DEBUT IN ONLY A FEW DAYS TIME TEAMING WITH THE EMMANUELLE BROTHER IN THIS TAG TEAM MATCH! WE JOIN FORCES TO DO OUR BEST TO DEFEAT THE WILD CARD BROTHERS, THE QUINN AND MYOJIN BROTHERS AND THE RIOT AND DANTE BROTHERS! FEAR NOT EMMANUELLE BROTHER, WE’LL RISE AND BE THE CREAM OF THE CROP OH YEAH! AND YOU!”

“OTHER TEAMS, WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN TOPNOTCHMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU!”

I’d shake my head and arms crazy like the best warrior brother would. I bet that scared the others out of their boots. Heh the 80’s are so cool.