LOOK AT THE CRAYFISH, OMG IT'S SO COOL, YOU HAVEN'T LIVED UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN THE CRAYFISH!!

The scene opens with Jimmy Johnson is sitting in a chair behind a white background, next to him is an empty chair


Jimmy: Hi. My name is Jimmy Johnson, although most of you would know me by Jimmy Johnson from WrestleWorld. The crust foundation and I have partnered together to make a public announcement about a Wrestleworld superstar with extremist views.

Not only does the crust foundation sell the best bread rolls in the south-east of the Carolinas, but they also are the largest international association, fighting for crustacean rights. They have been working hard for years to make sure that all crustaceans are given a fair chance in a world that has taken and boiled so many. Now there have been many strides in the wrestling business to let crustaceans into a larger role than just a dish in catering, in fact, Wrestleworld was listed as one of the most progressive businesses in the crustacean report released in 2020, they have given a contract to Senor Pinchy, a veteran of the Mexican wrestling scene, who is the first-ever crustacean to wrestle in a major wrestling company, he is one of the few role models for crab children to look up to, but that is just the problem, some of Pinchy’s recent actions can only be him pushing crab superiority over other crustaceans. Senor Pinchy has tried to claim the role of king crab of WrestleWorld, not a crab architect, not the crustacean king, he wants to be the crab king of Wrestleworld. Mr Pinchy has continued to make it known that he is only looking out for the crabs. We reached out to some crustaceans in the beaches of Wrestleworld, to get their opinions, the people’s opinions, on Senor Pinchy’s political movements on WrestleWorld against the greater crustacean community.

We tried to reach out to Senor Pinchy and his family, but we got no comment, mainly because the aquarium is only open from 6am - 4pm.

Although we weren’t able to get Senor Pinchy, we did get this guy. COME ON OUT OF HERE!

Jimmy: Everyone please welcome, Senor Lobsti!



Actually my name is Gilbert Peterson, I have seven degrees in lobster economics  Senor is a name that is usually reserved for Crabs.  

Jimmy: Huh, I thought it was a mexican thing, now you knew Senor Pinchy before he came to Wrestleworld, you say.

Gilbert Peterson: Yes. And let me tell you, Senor "Pinchy" isn't even his real name! His real name is Senor Smith, he has a basic bitch human last name! And to be honest, I'm surprised you, humans aren't questioning his fake last name! ALMOST EVERY CRUSTACEAN HAS PINCHERS! that would be like if you humans, had a last name like, Senor Arms.  He is only calling himself Senor Pinchy because he wants to make people think that Crabs are THE crustacean, he doesn't want you thinking about lobsters, krill, crayfish and-

Live Audience: WOOOOOOOO!

The live audience pops for the crayfish namedrop

Gilbert Peterson: We all saw what happened to TJ Thomson, that guy barely escaped the crabs! Those crabs are being radicalized, by Senor Smiths radical words and it’s already escalating and getting more and more violent, look at this clip taken from the beaches of the Wrestleworld island



Gilbert Peterson: The crabs are trying to take over WrestleWorld and will hurt anyone in there way.

Jimmy: I mean granted, they were attacking someone in Drake and Jones territory, I’m sure the crab had, had a reasonable reason for trying to stab someone, like maybe he said something bad about crayfish!! AM I RIGHT GUYS!  

Jimmy gets out of his seat and pulls out a LIVING CRAYFISH!!!  The live audience go ballistic for the crayfish, Jimmy begins a crayfish chant with the live audience.

Gilbert Peterson: I mean, crayfish are cool and all, but what is so awesome about crayfish?

Gilbert tries to talk but, the crowd are too busy going wild for crayfish.

After a solid few minutes of chanting crayfish, the crowd calm as Jimmy puts away the crayfish

Jimmy: Go on, Gilbert.

Gilbert Peterson: Yes, the crab attack was most likely started from a provoked attack, everyone who lives there must suck , anyone who’d choose to visit the Wrestleworld islands probably deserved to get stabbed but, Senor Pinchy hasn’t even had a match yet and he is having this effect on the crab populous, what's going to happen when Senor Pinchy actually wrestles, what's going to happen when he wins a match?!?

Jimmy: Well, I’m facing off with him in a tag team match so I’d say we’ll find out soon enough.

Suddenly screaming fills the film studio, crew members rush from the catering.

Jimmy gets out of his chair and stops one of the running crewmen

Jimmy: Woah, Woah, Woah, what’s going on?

Crew-member: There here. They found out what we were doing! RUN, RUN!

The Crewmember pushes past Jimmy Johnson

Jimmy: Who found out?

Gilbert Peterson: THE CRABS! THERE HERE!

Hundreds of crabs flood into the film studio, pinching and snapping menacingly as they try to catch up to the escaping human, Jimmy starts to run away from the crabs but trips over his crayfish container, the crayfish crawls out of the container

Jimmy: No...

The live audience trample Jimmy while trying there hardest to save and escort the crawfish out of the building, leaving Jimmy as fodder for the crab army.....

5 hours later, A Local Medical Facility

Jimmy is in a hospital Local Medial Facility bed

Joshua: What the hell happened?

Jimmy: The crabs….. They did a number on me…. The pinchers… I can still hear the snipping of the pinches.  

Joshua: Oh god..... That sounds terrible.  

Jimmy: The worst part is, they didn’t even try to cut me up… they didn’t just come in gun blazing….. They had a plan, they…… they…… they pinched my butt, Joshi, they pinched by butt real hard.  

Joshua: What, thats why you needed medical attention?

Jimmy: I’m being serious, they pinched my butt so hard, I now have 3 buttocks, I have two assholes because of what they did.

Joshua: Jimmy. Like seriously what did they do?

Jimmy: That son of a bitch…. Senor Pinchy, he tried to send a message, but all he did was make me be able to poop twice as fast and a burning desire for vengeance! At DOMINION, TJ and I are going to kick his ass!  

Joshua: Hey you're going to fight Pinchy in a tag team match with TJ, who is on Pinchy’s team?  

Jimmy: It doesn’t matter, his partner is Ran. D Savage, that guy is cool.  

Joshua is looking at his phone

Joshua: Really, you tried to make Colt a bad guy, when you faced off with him just cause, but Ran. D Savage is just.. Cool to you?

Jimmy: Yeah, plus I tried to steal one of his sponsorships, at the last DOMINION, so I feel like, I don’t wanna say anything bad bout him, I feel like I've done enough to him, I'm sure we'll be able to have a fair and- .

Joshua: He called you fat.

Jimmy: HE DID WHAT!

Joshua: Yeah, look.

Joshua shows Jimmy a clip of the Ran.D Savage promo.

Jimmy: BULLSHIT! I’m not fat! My height to weight raito is completely normal okay! Just cause I’m not on steroids like that guy, it doesn't mean I'm fat!

Joshua: Woah, I’m sure WrestleWorld do testing, theres no way Ran. D, would even think of doing that stuff.

Jimmy: Oh please Ran. D is basically pulled out of the 80s, of course, he’s on steroids. The only guy that has muscles that are big and legit is Hull Kogan. Nobody can have raging pythons that big off steroids.

Joshua: ……….yeeeeah. Yep. Sure....  

Jimmy:  You know, Ran. D is just jealous, I got an ad spot last week with Slam Jam, the most prestigious Jam company in the world. He must have been so shocked by my amazing manoeuvring of the marketing world, that he was speechless for an entire DOMINION! This crab sympathising hunk of fat shaming goodness is going down!  

Joshua: Well, you gotta get to DOMINION first you’re about to have a match in a few hours, if you leave now, you'll probably get there in a few hours early

Jimmy: Well that is why, I went to a local medical facility, they’re local, it's like a 3 minute walk to WrestleWorld from this local medical facility. .

Joshua: That's not how it works.  

Jimmy: Are you sure about that?

Jimmy gets out of bed and opens the door to reveal that they are backstage at DOMINION.

Joshua: But….. but….. This place was a ten minute drive from home, were in Australia. How?  

Jimmy: Well if it’s a 10 minute drive from home to here, you could say that this specific medical facility we are in, is in fact, local

Joshua: But, how did we get here!

Jimmy:  It’s a local medical facility, dude.

Joshua: That's not answering anything

Jimmy does a wonder woman spin, but spins alot more faster.

Joshua: What are you doing, spinning around in a hospital gown.

Suddenly, Jimmy is in his wrestling gear

Joshua: Does nothing make sense anymore?


Jimmy:  Now, now Joshi. I gotta a match to win! gotta match to watch TJ win!