Reliving The Past

January 31 2020
London England
Small house on the edge of the city

“You made it home.”

I said it to myself coming back inside this house. I was here for BlackHawk and the spring ring gear release. The models I worked with were all here, but that did not mean my past had vanished.

“This place…”

“...was home to us all darling Raven.”

I was in the living room and did not turn around. Strahd was standing in the doorway, I could feel it. I didn’t turn around. I couldn’t, not after all I have been through lately.

“Fuck off Strahd. You didn’t save me.”

“I’m sorry…”

I turned around and walked up to him, slapping the taste from his mouth. He easily jerked his head back and glared at me.

“Where were you when Damian was beating me every single day? Did you even warn my brother? By the way his girlfriend was acting, probably not. You were no place in sight, and neither was Padre, so both of you can fuck off. I am in no mood for my past shoving itself in my face.”

He looked hurt, upset and ready to just rage out, and it was exactly what I was hoping for. Instead, he stormed off and his brother walked in. I was done, and before I could leave, there was Padre, stopping me by taking my shoulder gently, but firmly.

“Margrave hurt you, I can tell. Taking it out on my brother will do more harm than good...just like you drowning yourself in work. Wrestling, working on Blackhawk, the back and forth will take its toll...and shutting love out will as well.”

“Stop it. Just stop trying to be the protector. Damian hurt me...in so many ways. He is alive and breathing and I can’t look over my shoulder without being freaked out. No one was there. People who promised me the world was never there. I don’t trust anyone but myself. I am no longer the Hawk. I am..”

“The Dragon Queen. The part of you that was suppressed after the first time he hurt you. Just...be careful. Let me handle this.”

“Pfft.”

I left him there, speechless. I walked away and got onto my bike. I looked back, disgusted and took off, yet no one saw it.

The tears that stung my face.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

February 2 2021
Undisclosed Location

“Mamă, ți-am dat greș”

Sitting in the graveyard, at the tombstone of my mother. It was a shame, she died too soon.

“I am at a crossroad. Love, it sucks. Hatred is all I see mother, please help me. I am very scared.”

“As you should be.”

Standing across from me...Damian Margrave. I froze. I didn’t move from the bench I was sitting in, he didn’t move from where he was standing.

“Did you honestly think you would not be found? Tell me my dearest, how are the wounds healing?”

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. Not after everything that happened. It made me sick he was still breathing. I just felt a lone tear fall from my face. He slowly walked over to me. His hand gently touched my face, wiping the tear and I was just frozen. Fighting back, it was something that got me in trouble.

“Why did you run? This could have all been easy dearest.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“You did not flinch when I touched you.”

“So I didn’t reach for my knife.”

I was cold. I had to be. I lost matches, lost my fucking debut in a company because this was clouding my mind. It all had to stop, and I was about to make it stop. I just…

“What are you thinking about doing?”

His voice broke my silence. I glared at him in the evilest way I possibly could. I was very over him. I got up quietly, brushed my jacket off, then turned and slapped him. The sound cracked against the markers of the fallen and his head turned back to the side.

“I shut down, I lost a lot in recent weeks, my mind and sanity most of all. You have scarred me, Damian. Why don’t you see that? Why don’t you see that your rich, snobby, pompous ass doesn’t get everything you want?”

He said nothing, he just chuckled as his head turned back and he looked at me. It was different. Much….different.

“I get everything. I will have you. Period. The twins can not save you, the boy who saved you once cannot again. You? You are mine Miss Marshal. Nothing is going to change that…”

I punched him. Tears were streaming down my face. I had enough, but so did he. He jerked back really quick, too quick for me and proceeded to backhand me. I wrestle, nothing that hadn’t phased me, but afterwards is exactly what phased me horrendously. He kept going. Each punch worse than the last. My mind was hazy, I couldn’t think right. It was as if things were turning red, then black.

“Now do not fade on me sweetheart.”

He stopped. Sudden, especially for him. He just looked down at me.

“Frail. Not good, I thought this was clear the last time this conversation was had. You need to think about your alliances. Before it ends up killing you.”

He started taking off, my vision becoming clearer. He turned just as I was pulling myself up off the ground. I was bloody, but I was smirking.

“Heh, maybe not as weak as I thought Dragon Queen.”

“You created this you know. You created the monster, not even you can control. Get back here and fight me, little boy.”

“Now now Dragon, I want to see you burn the world down before we meet again. After all, you need to prove you are more than hot air.”

He got in his car and left. I stood there, bloody and beaten. There was one thing he never really did.

Break me.