Mis Disculpas (Senor Pinchy Promo for Dominion 28)

(The camera opens on Pinchy sitting at the edge of the dock at dusk with his back to the camera and his legs dangling over the edge as the moon begins to rise on the horizon.)

"Mis disculpas. Es not somet'ing I say lightly Daniel Horror, but it es somet'ing j'ou deserve to a'hear from me. Last week I doubted j'our abilities as a luchador after saying I would not do exactamente that. I pushed j'ou to j'our limit, gave j'ou the match of j'our life, and j'ou made it out alive. Felicidades por eso; Congratulations for that...a pesar de que..."

(Pinchy pulls one leg up to his chest as he lifts his face up to stare into the pale moon's surface as it rises in the night's sky.)

"Perdoname por me espanol...although, I wonder if you feel as though congratulations are in order. J'ou didn't win, Daniel. Neither of us did. The match proved nothing. I admit that I did not give mi cien por ciento; my one hundred percent. I held back because I figured I didn't have to give my all against j'ou. In a way maybe Pinchy wanted j'ou to even win so that j'ou could have that rise in confianza going into the King of the World. Maybe Pinchy wanted j'ou to have a false sense of security, a windfall victoria that would put a second wind into your sails right before Pinchy snipped the mast y dashed your hopes to the very wind that lifted them. Maybe Pinchy wanted to set j'ou up just to knock j'ou down, but even with that potential opening por j'ou to come out on top in a match against Pinchy, j'ou somehow managed to only draw."

(A bubble on the surface of the water catches Pinchy's attention. He looks down at it with a perplexed interest as he reaches over to his side where a fishing pole rests on the dock next to him.)

"Maybe none of that es true. This could just be bait set by Pinchy to snare your confianza prior to our match. Mis discupas por the unkind words regardless to Pinchy's motives. I just don't want j'ou going into esto battle without a little bit of fuego en j'our fight. Maybe the draw was enough to light las llamas beneath the Daredevilfish, but Pinchy wants to make sure that his victoria over j'ou means somet'ing. I want a motivated Horrorfish who smells blood in the water. I want to beat the best version of j'ou, not the one left hanging at the end of Violent Delights. I meant everyt'ing I said about j'ou going into our last match. I do believe we are the stalwarts of DOMINION. I do believe j'ou have potential to be el futuro de Luchamundo. I believe j'ou get better with every outing."

(Pinchy slowly lowers his line into the water, careful not to spook the fish with the breach of his hook, and waits patiently for a bite.)

"But I also believe that I can still beat the new y improved Daniel Horror. Last week was a testing of the waters, si? I did not expect to gain anything from facing j'ou other than seeing if I could get a bite or dos on the hook. This week there es actually somet'ing on the line. Once again Pinchy finds himself feeling the urge to tell j'ou mis disculpas for tricking j'ou to give Pinchy everything j'ou had on a trial run. Esta semana; this week es when everything truly matters. There's a crown on the line, and it es Pinchy's destino to be King Crab. Mi raza de la garra demands their leader's...ehhh...how do j'ou say?...ah j'es;rise to acclaim and dominance. Forget the kind speaking Jacob STRIKER Fish Finder who says the nice things about Pinchy on Social Sea-dia. Forget silly bird boy Swimmy Swanson, whale barf Ambergris Payne, The Whitefish Nobi, Travis Surf n' Turfy, Lake Raab; forget all of them y focus on Senor Pinchy. Focus on Pinchy because once you take the bait of looking ahead at future opponents, the line stops here."

(A nibble twitches Pinchy's line. He slowly rises up to his feet and begins to subtly reel in until his line is taut. Another jerk of resistance comes, but the line locks in place. Pinchy pulls back on the pole, causing it to arch nearly to the point of breaking. He quickly locks his claw onto the reel and starts pulling up as he plants his crab legs into battle position. After a brief battle, a black sea bass is pulled from the water's surface, flopping in the air as Pinchy struggles to reel it in. Once he gets it high enough on the line, he holds it in place at the end of his rod and watches it's twitching and flailing slowly subside.)

"I'm guessing j'ou requested Outclaw Rules, or maybe Beach Morgan just decided they would favor j'ou. This es fine with Pinchy regardless. Es his specialty. It es exactly how Pinchy likes to start a war. Sin limite,sin arrepentirse, y sin responsabilidad por what he's going to do to someone. I didn't take the bands off; j'ou did Beach Morgan. J'ou did it because j'ou know j'our boy Horror doesn't stand a chance against me without a complete abdication of rules or consequences. Well it has backfired on j'ou y Daniel. I thrive in shark infested waters, I vacation to the Dead Sea. and I live for the chance to sink my claws into tender parts of the human anatomy. This conspiracy against Pinchy es about to reach a cabeza, and when it does Pinchy will cut that cabeza off with his garra. No limits only means Pinchy can't be cut off by a timekeeper when he's finally ready to eviscerate Daniel Horror. It means he can't be screwed out of a victoria en singles or parejas action. It means Pinchy can pick someone to come to his aid that isn't his mortal enemy if the waters do get a little bit rough, but it also means Pinchy doesn't have an excuse to be surprised when Beach Morgan himself, or more likely one of his cronies, comes out y costs Pinchy the crown with a blindside attack. Well Pinchy es ready for all currents to go against him. He's lived his life that way y survived thus far. We'll see who bows to Rey Pinchy once he conquers both land y sea in this tournament of kings. TeeHay, Beach, Sole Fry, y Poached Tank Dreck will be the first to be taken out of commission by mi garra once I claim the throne. As for j'ou Daniel Horror?"

(Pinchy stares at the now motionless fish hanging at the end of his line, tilting his head inquisitively as he watches it's gills draw their final gasps for breath. He reaches out at the last remaining moment and snips the line with his claw. The fish torpedoes motionless into the briny depths. After a brief second of water stillness, it hops up to the surface, flipping it's tail before submerging once more.)

"Maybe I do for j'ou what Ares wouldn't. Maybe I cut you down from the rafters while others hang in your place. Maybe I leave you alive, stuck with my hooks in j'ou as a forever reminder that I could've taken j'ou at any time if I chose to do so. Beach Morgan's trying to make you his prawn in a bigger game of chess. He wants me to take j'ou because it leaves me open for more powerful attacks, but I will not accept his sacrifice of a prawn when it leaves my king en peril. Make no mistake, I do plan on beating j'ou Daniel. I plan on doing t'ings to j'ou that not even a mente loca like j'ours can even imagine, but j'ou will walk away from our fight because I have bigger fish to fry y bigger conquests on the horizon. Once Beach realizes that I'm not taking the prawn he'll send bigger pieces on the board after me, but what he doesn't see is that I already have a Fishop en waiting at a distance with them in their sights. Regardless, this match es more than j'ou could ever understand it to be Daniel. It isn't about j'ou. J'ou aren't here because they think j'ou can win. J'ou're here to be the first line of defense y a distraction. They expect you to fall, and j'ou will. You can wish suffering upon Pinchy as much as j'ou may please, y j'ou may even take a pound of Pinchy's crab meat en this batallia, but when the night's over you'll be thankful that Pinchy spared j'ou from being a clam led to the slaughter. I have no ill will toward j'ou Daniel. I hope j'ou thrive and go on to be Territory Campeon someday, but when it comes to this tournament and the current landscape of Luchamundo's once great brand Dominion? All Pinchy can really say to j'ou es mis disculpas; my apologies. I apologize it had to come to this. I apologize that you're being used to draw fire away from a mad conquering tyrant. I apologize for setting j'our progreso back to un cuadrado because I have to make an example of j'ou. I apologize that j'ou probably haven't even been given a chance to taste victoria on your own terms because no doubt asesinos will be waiting to come out y sway things in j'our favor when Pinchy starts to gain an advantage. I apologize for them being just as willing to doubt j'our abilities as I was one week ago. ¡Conspiración! It infects every game of thrones...well, that and the last season, but regardless! J'ou understand what I am saying. Mis disculpas, Daniel Horror. They've hung j'ou up with a tortilla on j'our shoulder and turned j'ou into a political puppet, but have no fear for Pinchy will be along soon enough to cut j'ou down. When he does, I want to make certain that j'ou do not land back on the fence. Luchamundo has been turned upside down, so much so that Pinchy has become a fisher of men in his revolución del cangrejo. Once Pinchy claims the crown y becomes Rey del Mundo, he would love to have Daniel Horror as a non-crab Cabalerro en his ranks. So the choice es left up to j'ou Senor Horror: Pick the right chapter to be a part of en history books or be forever scarred by fishery hooks. There will be no more second chances for j'ou if you pick Beach over sea, and por that..."

(Pinchy drops his line and turns to walk back up the dock, his head hung sullenly and his eye stocks narrow and cold.)

"...I give j'ou sin disculpas."

(After Pinchy shuffles stoically out of frame, the camera hangs on the fully risen moon for a moment, taking in the ocean's sloshing and lively nature, before cutting to black abruptly.)