House of Horror

Subject: House of Horror Thu Oct 07, 2021 1:42 pm

[YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE SO FLY ZONE]

It’s Halloween time. Yup. That’s a thing in Wrestleworld too, I guess. Somehow this place has the same exact seasons. The leaves on the trees turn brown and orange and start to fall off. There’s Pumpkin-flavored shit everywhere you look. And of course, the Halloween decorations. So Fly ain’t ever been big on Halloween. In fact, he’s always been a little bit of a scaredy cat when it comes to horror movies, but he’s here to be a part of this world and this community. So shit, may as well join em if you can’t beat em. That’s why he’s here. At a local department store in the Halloween section, checking out the costumes.

“You can feel it, can’t you? It’s in the air. It’s like you can smell the season. Or maybe it’s just the Pumpkin spice odor that they’ve been pumping through the vents… Whatever, either way, that shit is distinct. You just know it’s there. It’s a presence. Halloween. Not my cup of Pumpkin Spice Latte, but I get it. It’s a tradition among a lot of people. It’s a way of life when this time comes around. Halloween decorations, Halloween movies, Halloween everything. Everyone wants to enjoy the scary things. Everyone wants to dress up, whether you lookin to be sexy or scary. Unfortunately I don’t think I got the figure to pull off sexy, so maybe scary is more up my alley. Now y'all know that ain’t really me. I could put on a mask or makeup or whatever bullshit, but I ain’t trying to scare anyone. I ain’t gotta, ya know. I’m here to have a good time and make my name here, and if you feelin intimidated when I step in the ring with you, then more power to me. But that don’t mean I don’t know a thing or two about costumes or disguises. Right now I’m wearing the disguise of Hybrid Tag Team Champ. And sometimes when you’ve got a costume on, ya gotta play the part. So I remain loyal to these Titles with Coach Hecht. We’re the Champs and that shit ain’t changin. If someone were good enough to take these from around our waists, shit, I guess the mask would be off and I’d be exposed like a Scooby Doo villain. The world would see that I got bigger goals in mind. I got greater ambitions. But for now, mask stays on. Feel me?”

Man, these fuckin weirdass masks and costumes even give me the creeps. Are we sure Halloween ain’t just one big fetish convention that someone dressed up to be a holiday? At least the big man might get some candy out of this. So Fly selects one of the more grotesque masks on display and takes a good look at it.

“I guess you could say that when it comes to Halloween, I’m out of my element. I guess this ain’t really my sorta territory. You think of Halloween, and you think of scary people trying to do scary things. Torture, murder, stalking, looking horrifying, all that good shit. I suppose this is more like Daniel Horror’s domain, ain’t it? Well surprise, surprise, look who I got this week. If it ain’t Danny Boy himself. I can feel it now. He’s somewhere around here, watching me. I can feel his eyes on me from a distance, lookin to make me his next victim. If you listen closely, you can here the ‘chi chi chi, ha ha ha’. Or is it ‘ki ki ki, ma ma ma’? Whatever. Point is, he’s got his sights set on me. Hell, maybe he’s got his sights on these Hybrid Tag Team Titles if he happens to find someone as crazy as he is. I bet the moment midnight hit on October 1st, this man was feelin stronger than ever. Sure, he got himself knocked out of the King of the World Tournament, but if I’ve learned anything about horror movie villains, they don’t stay down for long. He got up and moved on to me, looking to plunge that knife right into my belly and paint that canvas with my blood. Around this time of year he feels right at home more than he ever has in Wrestleworld. The people who worship horror movies, those are his people. The people that love gore and torture, those are his people. And I ain’t gonna act like homefield advantage ain’t gonna make someone stronger. I got no doubt I have Horror at his best.”

Alright, enough of that spooky shit. So Fly puts the mask back and keeps looking around at all the others. Letting out a sigh that one would assume means he’s thoroughly uninterested and unimpressed. Certainly ain’t scared. Maybe.

“Halloween comes around once a year, Danny Boy. I don’t wait around for a certain part of the year to feel in my element. I don’t wait to be at home. I play just as well, if not better on the road. I play at my very best all year round. I ain’t afraid of scare tactics if you wanna try that kinda shit. I ain’t scared of what you bring to the table, no matter what instrument of torture you’ve got. Your look don’t scare me. You don’t scare me. But I ain’t gonna act like you ain’t good. I know how good you are. I know that I’ll get the best of you. But leave that Halloween shit on the street when you’re hunting for candy. It ain’t gonna do you any good here. If you come at me with that mask, I promise you I’ll rip it off. Because that’s how it is, boy. Kill or be killed out here. Demask or get demasked. You ain’t got what it takes to rip this mask off of my face and reveal my ambitions. I got a lot more time to spend with this Championship and you ain’t gonna change that. You don’t look like a guy that scares easy. I don’t think there’s anything here I could find to spook you. Not a mask to wear. Not a costume to put on. Nothing I could rip off from some horror movie. But maybe when you see a man this size flying at you. Maybe when you feel your tainted soul leaving your body as you hit the canvas. Maybe when I pin your ass and you realize that in three seconds, it’ll all be over. Maybe then you’ll start to feel fear. And that’s a whole lot scarier than anything this shit could offer. I’ll see you on Saturday, Horror.”

Yeah, this Halloween shit ain’t cutting it. Maybe So Fly can just put on a red shirt and jeans and pretend he’s Fat Albert… Again. Whatever. So Fly leaves it all behind and walks off.