“It’s Christmas!!!”
(Robbie V and Claudia Michaels are shown in their pajamas, sitting on a couch as the sound of someone rushing down the stairs is heard. Robbie takes a sip from his mug of coffee as Claudia sips wine)
Robbie V: Little early for that, don’t you think?
Claudia Michaels: Of course, dear, that’s why I’m drinking just wine for now. Keeping it light.
Robbie V: Right…
(Rosanna Vendetta rushes in while in her pink pajamas as her face lights up looking at the presents under the tree)
Sweet Roxy: Presents! These are mine! These are all mine!
(Roxy grabs a red present)
Sweet Roxy: Is this a puppy?!
(Roxy violently shakes the present to hear what’s inside)
Robbie V: Well, it WAS a puppy.
Sweet Roxy: This is everything I could have wanted!
Claudia Michaels: And your father got me what I wanted this year as well: complete control of Wrestleworld and the ability to simply make myself the American Dream Champion, isn’t that right, honey?
Robbie V: Of course, dear.
(Claudia looks over at Roxy as Robbie has an expression of panic on his face with sweat starting to run down his forehead. Claudia looks back at Robbie as he goes back to smiling and nodding)
Claudia Michaels: Such a lovely Christmas.
(The sounds of footsteps can be heard coming down the stairs as Claudia groans)
Claudia Michaels: Well, it WAS a lovely Christmas…
(Ares Vendetta comes downstairs in his all black pajamas with an annoyed expression)
Robbie V: Merry Christmas, Ares! Come see what presents you got!
Claudia Michaels: Oh no, dear, I think Santa actually forgot to get Ares anything this year. Whoops!
Ares Vendetta: Apparently I got coal for Christmas.
Robbie V: What? Nonsense, I don’t see anything in your stocking over there.
Ares Vendetta: Yeah, because it wasn’t in my stocking. SHE was throwing the coal through my Goddamn window.
(Ares points at Claudia as Claudia gasps)
Claudia Michaels: My goodness! Such a delusional step-son! I’ve never been so proud to call a child not my own! I told you we should have put him in a cheap mental institution!
Sweet Roxy: Look at all this Dollhouse merch I got that can be bought exclusively at TheHiVe.com!
Claudia Michaels: Calm now, Rosanna, it’s time for your father to open up his big present!
Robbie V: Oh you shouldn’t have, I’m perfectly content with the brand new wheelchair you got me for Christmas, dear. That joke just never gets old, even though it’s been, what, 2 years? 3?
Claudia Michaels: Agreed, but I made sure to get you something else that I know you’d love!
(Claudia hands Robbie a present as he wastes no time ripping it open and seeing what’s inside)
Robbie V: Oh Claudia, you shouldn’t have! It’s what I’ve always wanted! It’s [EVERYONE THAT WAS BOOKED FOR VIOLENT ENDS PROMOING BEFORE THE DEADLINE]! What a fantastic Christmas this has been! I’m so glad you could all be here for it! Merry Christmas, everyone!
Claudia & Roxy: MERRY CHRISTMAS!
(Robbie, Claudia, and Roxy all smile and wave at the camera as Ares can be heard yelling “I FUCKING HATE THIS FAMILY!” before slamming his door upstairs)