Two winners of Badlands enter the land of kings.

It feels good to win your first ppv match. I know I’m not the one with the title shot, but I did enough to carry my team to victory, and that’s enough for the best in the world...until he gets his crown. Champion Raoul sounded pretty kickass, but King Raoul sounds downright majestic so let’s get it happening!

Unfortunately I have to face Jacob, a fellow winner at Badlands who totally decimated Chad Kennedy.

I’m glad you beat Chad. I can’t stand posers who just latch onto anything popular, he and his fan base of trolls were abusing the Virgin vs Chad memes. Sure, some of the memes were funny, but sometimes I would look at them and be like “Jacob’s not a virgin!” Okay, maybe I’ve never seen you with a girl, and you sort of had a midlife crisis when they beat up your boy Daniels, but that just means you might roll another way. Which is totally stunning and brave, if you ask me. I want you to know I’m an ally! The whole punisher thing, the gun aesthetic that reminds me of my Gun Squad back in the indies, I truly think you and I could be best friends.

But there can only be one king. You’re cool and noble and all, but you’re more of a Jon Snow than a king. The way Wrestleworld treats me sometimes, I guess I can be a Bran the Broken that overcomes all! Which was a justified ending, despite how many critics over analyzed D & Ds great work, you have to respect people who can go out there and make a successful tv series! Just like you have to respect what guys like you and I do, we’re the type of guys who make his business worthwhile with our high octane action and making so muscle bound idiots no longer run the show! You and I are real wrestlers! There are a lot of boys in the back who haven’t put in the work to know how to wrestle like you and I, they just want the fame and attention of pro wrestling without putting in the work!

So let’s go out there and steal the show, I won’t drop a pipebomb on you with this mic, since I like ya so much, but in that ring all bets are off! You’ll see why they call me the realest and the gas snake.