DREAMWORLD - Thud, Ladders, Chairs

Clients Posts : 52 Join date : 2019-08-31

Well Wrestleworld - I’ve got some CHAD NEWS. I have been diagnosed with a serious medical condition. The doctors say I have a bad case of PTSD…

Phatso Thud Stress Disorder.

And the only cure is remembering that I have been gifted the attributes to claim myself as the superior Kennedy, not one that needs a super soldier serum just to look like a juiced up hippie. I’m Chad to the bone, and I have no problem extending that bone out if you are at least a 6 out of 10. But well, I can’t deny, I’ve got some complaints running through my head. I hate to sound like a woman but I feel I’m justified this time around. Plus, with the way Thuddy was acting last chapter, nobody could confuse me as the Kennedy Unit brother who is in the midst of their menstrual cycle. I’m being set up to fail, and it’s all because my obese half brother can’t lay off the organic ~~wuhan~~ chinese fortune cookies.

Drake and Jones obviously have it out for me because I'm DOOMED. All of Wrestleworld knows Thud weighs too much for a ladder to support. It'll break into pieces by the third step! But you know what? I’m not even going to sweat it, because you know why? Sweat is for the povertonians. When I’m Chaddaddying it up, I don’t break a sweat at all. Lesser men, you know, Thud, can’t last ten seconds before their heart gives out and they need to take a breather. But me? I could go ALL night but these bitches aren’t worth my time. Kelsey called me Mr. One Pump, and I took that as a compliment. I’m pretty sure that means all it took was one pump to get her off, at least that’s what I assume because that’s all it took for me. Which she should be thankful for because any of my other conquests know it’s a one way street for me, their release is just a luxury. Like, Thuddy for example. Chad is all Wrestleworld needs, but Thud is a nice luxury if you get sick and tired of looking at perfection. Thud is just lucky I agreed to being his tag team partner, because this Beauty and the Obese relationship only benefits one party and it sure as hell isn’t me. But it’s fine, it’s like high school where each preppy girl needs an ugly friend by their side to make them look good. It’s not his fault, though. It’s obvious he didn’t hit the genetic lottery. I was given the superior mother, looks, brains, and charm. But Thud? Alice is always trying to say GameOn, but I don’t think she knows Thud has none at all. Thud-Nut couldn’t get laid in a woman’s prison! Even if he had himself a badge! The man has about as much game as the Buffalo Bills in a Super Bowl. But you know, the more I think about Thuddy, the more I realize I should consider filing for charity credits next time I do my taxes. Carrying around an anchor who can’t put together two coherent sentences sure sounds like a charity case to me. It’s like Kelsey carrying around my child, that’s what Thud is to me.

And listen, I still blame Kelsey for that ordeal. Birth control is a WOMAN’s responsibility. She had ONE job. Well, three. Hand, blow, AND PILL. And I’ll just say it now, the former wasn’t done all that adequately either. But oh well, not MY problem. Kelsey wants me back, I know it. She can’t resist this 8-pack and this silver tongue. But she never will because I just can’t give up my religious freedoms all because she was too dumb to take a pill. Next time I’ll write up a contract with these thots. She can try to get me jealous all she likes but I already have a metaphorical blindfold on tagging with the Obese. Just can’t be looking at these hideous creatures, it’s like I’m teaming with Shrek out there. But Thuddy has Alzheimer's I swear. He doesn’t even live in New York! The only proof of evidence I need for that is Bobson’s employment isn’t allowed up there. He’s from North Carolina, but he’s too embarrassed to let Wrestleworld know that because he’s beta. Actually, now that I think about it - I need to see a DNA test, there’s no way this lug is my bro bro. He and Jacob Steele perform on the same wavelength, maybe those two are brothers after all. Both have that North Carolian gasoline stench and the brain the size of deformed A-Cup breasts, you know, what Alice is packing underneath those smiley face tops. Thud has a bigger set of tits and I’m not sure who that should offend more.

Hell, pretty sure Thuddy is a gender bender. He has more hair than Alice, too. Or maybe it’s Alice that’s the she-male? I don’t know, EITHER WAY. Don’t get it confused. The Chaddaddy is a champion of equal rights. Again, I donated to LGBQT - and I’ll continue doing so until they find a cure. I’m not saying Thadso Fatso or A-Cup Alice don’t belong in this company, I’m just trying to point out that I can’t exactly tell them apart. Luckily Alice is a midget and a half, or else it’d be like I’m seeing double. Not double D’s, no, not that lucky, not WITH HER. But maybe with Thuddy. His going rate he’ll be there by year’s end. He just better lose some of that titty weight by the end of the week because I’m going to sadly need that ogre to climb one stinkin’ ladder. Can he do it? I don’t know. He’s obviously the inferior Kennedy in each and every way, and if he just did his job and just watched on like the good little cuck boy he is, we would have been able to take down that steroid freak in Hull Kogan. But NooOoOoOoO, lard ass just had to get jealous and ruin the fun for everyone! So maybe it’s a Chad blessing after all, that Drake and Jones made it to where we BOTH have to climb a ladder. Thud can’t repeat his own tardation, actually feel involved, so he won’t be trying to get in the way of Kennedy success. LISTEN, we have this in the BAG if so. Winning these type of matches are in our bloodlines, my family name was BUILT on this very match. From Money in the Bank to championship wins - Beauty and the Obese will be walking into Dreamworld as the FAVORITES. And that’s just some CHAD NEWS for the rest of those losers who will remain nameless. Anyway, I’ve destroyed Thud enough, a pussy can only take so much pounding. I think I’ll let the rest speak for themselves. I’ve gotten my Chadisfaction out of this already, and like I said before, that’s always a one way street. You just better treat those P… Those P… sorry, I only speak American. YOU BETTER TREAT THOSE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS LIKE YOU DO YOUR DINNER, THUD. Because if you cost me this match Thaddy I swear I’ll kick you to the curb like I did Kelsey. So stop licking your own taint, loser, cut the carbs and sugar, and learn how to reach for the rafters rather than reaching around on one of your many boyfriends. You do that, the BIG UNIT will slap so hard, that it leaves a print on the face and minds of all of Wrestleworld!

» DREAMWORLD - A Memoir From the Oppressed
» Which Dreamworld match?
» DREAMWORLD - The Manifestation of Regret
» Dreamworld Predictions thread
» DREAMWORLD: A Series of Broken Dreams