DREAMWORLD - A Memoir From the Oppressed

...She just can't keep getting away with this!


I thought Wrestleworld was a progressive company, but I thought wrong! NEVER in my years, did I expect to be associated with a company that allows words like R**ARD and F@**OT be accepted! What's next, letting people say CRA**ER free nilly?! This company is meant to have standards, yet it's been TWO days and there has yet to be any repercussions for this hate crime! You should be disgusted with yourself, Jaywalker. All because Alice allegedly doesn't have a dick doesn't mean she's free to say whatever she wants! How does she get away with calling us children fa**ots?!? Like it's even worse she called us children, does that mean she's a pedo as well? GROSS. Do you not understand how much hurt she has already caused? I'm not an emotional man, but I still can't get over it. I am not just offended, but APPALLED at the language she used. APPALLED, I tell you. I'm about to be a father and I don't think it's right that children are growing up in a world where somebody like Alice Gamer is perceived as a ROLE MODEL.

I once suffered from PTSD... Phatso Thadso Stress Disorder, but now??? This is a traumatic life altering experience. I'm not sure I'll even be able to compete at Wrestleworld now! Can you imagine having to share the ring with... with... with a bully like Alice Gamer? Like does Wrestleworld not understand what that would do to my daily psyche? I'm not sure I feel safe competing against one another, like who knows if she's just going to try to grab my crotch at any given moment! What if she calls me an F all because I like pina coladas... or dancing in the rain?

Like it's okay if she calls Thud an F because let's be honest, he and Bobson have spent too much time at the pool together to be anything but. That's not insulting him, that's just reading between the lines. If anything, Alice deserves some credit for great detective work. But me?! I'm about to be a FATHER, and the Chaddaddy doesn't swing on that side of the fence. Not that there's anything wrong with swinging that way... of course, but to imply anything about my sexual orientation is an obvious disrespect to the Chaddaddy's body of work.

The only rightful course Wrestleworld can take right now is to suspend Alice Gamer, revoke her role in this championship match, and ensure she partakes in a month long course of sensitivity training. Many great MEN have done FAR less, and have ended up having their careers end because of the color of their skin, and the genitialia between their legs. For example, let's take a look at 2020 alone. An innocent man in Kyle Larson lost his entire life's worth over one SMALL mistake. Can you imagine if it was Alice that said what he said? Wait a minute, hold on - Alice doesn't have breasts really so she'd be confused with being a man anyway. So she isn't the most perfect example, but you know what I mean! You'd have the likes of Jacob Steele simping her every word, just for the chance to be sucking on those A-Cuppies.

Which just brings this all FULL circle, and the root of our problems as a society right now. If there is ONE good thing to come out of Alice's ignorance and hatred, it's that it's brought to light Wrestleworld's role in not only allowing, but advocating for this oppression. Do you think Thud and I would be getting bullied right now if we weren't heterosexual, white, cis, rich, successful males? I don't THANK so! The Kennedy Unit is the classic case of what oppression looks like.

So when we win those championship belts one of these goddamn weekends, I want you to see what a true underdog story looks like, Alice! Because at the end of the day, it's just you... your beta male cuck boyfriend, one thousand-pound Thudso, and ME! Nobody else is in that ring, nobody else is there to save you from centuries of reprieved oppression that you and your people owe! Perhaps the sights of an overly obese hippie and a bullied, handsome heterosexual male can inspire generations of young boys and girls to stand up to the likes of you. Thud and myself will be role models that parents are proud their children model after, and we have YOU to thank for it, lack-of-tits McGee.

Perhaps I'll write a petition to Jaywalker as we speak, hoping he doesn't suspend you just so I can make all those young boys and girls proud. They'd like to see nothing more than a 120 pound woman be beaten to a pulp for the sake of justice. A HERO's service. Some will call it vigilante work, but I'll only accept it under the condition that Thud be called the Robin in this hypothetical, because gay boy doesn't have the balls to be Batman.

Anywho... I've written enough, you're just fortunate I don't have a woman's heart and feel the need to cancel you over social media, Alice. Instead I'd rather beat you like a man, and be proud doing it. It's time the sexists and homophobics like you learn their place, Alice - and that's RIGHT between the Kennedy Unit!