Jimmy Johnson bullies and steals from a small child

Our story begins where most wrestling careers begin, an independent wrestling show, Jimmy Johnson is about to go out for a match at a local show in America

Announcer: From Perth, Western Australia, weighing in at 91 kilos, he is the Main Event, Jimmy Johnson!

Should have mentioned it wasn’t the undercard Jimmy Johnson, but another completely different one, you know the one from my council of Jimmys and/or Johnsons, you read that promo right? Anyway, the Main Event Johnson looks over at his opponent on the other side of the ring and lets out a laugh as he takes a glance at his scrawny opponent.

2 minutes later

The Main Event Johnson quickly ends the fight against the far weaker opponent, he leaves the ring and into backstage, he sees the looks of the other workers backstage, all eyes are on him. Main Event Johnson can’t help, but smirk as he is in the centre of attention, he leaves to his personal locker room, he takes one last look at the rest of his colleagues and walks in. His “locker room” consists of 2 stools, a table and cleaning supplies, his locker room was nothing, but a janitor's closet, his cockyness turns to crushing realism, that he is not at a stadium, but a high school gymnasium, yet this is the biggest crowd he’s been in front of. . This is where he is in life, wrestling nobodies in front of the wrestling fan nobodies.

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

The Main-Event Jimmy: Come in.. he says in a defeated hiss.

The door starts to open the door

The Undercard Jimmy: Heyyyyyya, how's it goin’, mate-o

The Main-Event Jimmy: ……Get out.

The Undercard Jimmy: Before you stop listening, listen to this part, the council of Jimmys and Johnsons want you back!

Main-Event Jimmy shows interest

The Main-Event Jimmy: ….. But they got you on Wrestleworld, why do they need me?

The Undercard Jimmy: Well…. You're here wrestling aren’t you? They have decided to get 2 wrestling reps, one in Wrestleworld and one outside of wrestleworld. Usually they’d just send a letter to you, but they thought that because of our last interaction this would be a good way to set us up on a good start! All you gotta do now is kill a member of the council or bake some really good cupcakes.

The Main-Event Jimmy: Hey, I ain’t no pussy! I’ll bake the world's greatest cupcakes by tomorrow.

The Undercard Jimmy: Awesome, see you at the next council meeting. I gotta go, my long time mentor and best friend, Jim Cornette is waiting on me in the parking lot.

Jimmy begins to get up to leave and nearly is out of the door until

The Main-Event Jimmy: Wait, you said, I was the Jimmy and/or Johnson rep for wrestling outside of Wrestleworld. Do you know where I'm working?

The Undercard Jimmy: Oh, I guess independent shows like this.

The Main-Event Jimmy: What?

Main Event Jimmy is visibility annoyed

The Undercard Jimmy: ….You’re going to work in places like this, you know these types of shows. You should count yourself lucky, at least you don’t gotta be in OWA

The Main-Event Jimmy: There bringing me in for this? There bringing me in to work more of this! HOW IS THAT LUCK!

The Undercard Jimmy: Hey man… at least you have a high paying job, most of the others here won’t make anything near you to work these shows, you should be happy you get to work for the council!

The Main-Event Jimmy: What is there to be happy about, my career is a giant shit and you're trying to convince me it’s gold. Of course you're saying that! You get to be in WrestleWorld, you get to be in the biggest wrestling promotion in the world and I have to be here! Have you ever realised just how lucky you are? I messed up once and I got stuck working shows like this, but you, oh you, Jimmy, how many chances has the “Undercard” had, how many times has the “undercard” fucked up and wasted all the chances given to him. How many times have your fallen flat on your arse and been given a pat on the back for doing nothing? How long have you been in WrestleWorld? What have you accomplished, what titles did you win? Oh, nevermind, what number one contendership match did you win?

The Undercard Jimmy: Wow, you're an asshole, huh?

The Main-Event Jimmy: Nevermind, let's move away from title stuff, have you even done anything memorable in Wrestleworld? You're just a lucky, talentless, boy in a mens world, because you convinced some idiots that you're wearing big boy pants. How are you even in Wrestleworld if you have done so little in so much time?

The Undercard Jimmy: What can I say, Wrestleworld is the big pond, if you were in here you’d be gone after the first few months, you’d come in on somewhat of a roll, but eventually you’ll hit a speed bump or a little plot hole in the road, like a loss or two and when you did, you'd out of here, you give up and go to the next pond. I’ve hit more than just a few plot holes, I have driven directly into mountains, I have fallen into sinkholes that go as deep as the core of the earth, but I’m still here. Out of all of the boys and girls on DOMINION, I have been in Wrestleworld the longest and that is no coincidence, no, no. I am the most resilient worker in Wrestleworld, I have gone through some real lows and downright irritating low points, involving my dad and I have been close to title contention in the past but right now is the lowest low, I’ve been at in all of my career. My apparences are sporadic and the matches I appear in, I’m only in because they think I'm going to lose. That Hybrid tag title match was the first match I had in a month, my partner, Alice had a win over the hybrid champion, Saria so she was going to get a hybrid title match and I kinda just showed up for it. I was put into a title match for the sole point of losing the match, the rules were made for it, so I could lose and Alice could win, but did you see my phoning it in? Npo. I gave it my all, because I know that, to go back into serious title contention all I need to do is put a little elbow grease into it. Your career is a turd, my career is rock thrown into the deepest parts of Marianas trench, but I still fight because I know that rock could be on top of Mt. Everest, as long as I push myself hard enough. So next time when you think about me and think that I’m “llucky”, you can go fuck yourself, because there is no other man, nor woman, nor crab, nor being that would get up and there is no god that can stop me getting up and trying again after each the setback, each mistake and each hardship, I’ve faced. Will I single handedly eliminate everyone in World Domination? Hell no. Will I be the sole survivor? Probably not, but I garentee you, when you’re watching the match on the Wrestle-network for $13.16ASD a month or watching it on PPV for $39.53ASD you’ll be watching me and after you see me nearly kill myself you’ll be thinking, maybe, just maybe, he might just do it and then, maybe then you’ll reliase why, I’m still Wrestleworld.

Our story ends when undercard Jimmy gets up and storms out, leaving the janitor's closet and Mainevent Jimmy to his own thoughts

Then Undercard Jimmy pops back in

The Undercard Jimmy: Yea… I forgot to give you the contract…..

He chucks the contract to Mainevent Jimmy, but since it's a piece of paper, it just floats to the floor

The Main-Event Jimmy: …….…

The two kinda just stare……….

The Undercard Jimmy: …......yea… I’ll get it.

Our story actually ends with undercard Jimmy walks in and just passes it to Mainevent Jimmy, gives an awkward thumbs up and then leaves as fast as possible

…….


……


……


Joshua: Jimmy you ready to go? Why are you just standing in the parking lot, let's leave.

The Undercard Jimmy: I gotta wait for that narrator to go away, there’s always one following me. How do I always have a dude with a deep voice that is just obsessed with following my every move, describing it in detail?

?: And they have a camera crew recording your every move, maybe he’s with Wrestleworld, they gotta promote matches with something, because your certainly not sending anything!

The Undercard Jimmy: Corny! Took you a while to get here How have you been?

Jim Cornette: Greater than a cottonbelly on a wednesday, now that I’ve ran into you, Jimmy!

Joshua: Wait, Jimmy, when did you get so acquainted with Jim Cornette?

The Undercard Jimmy: What are you talking about? Jim Cornette is the guy who trained me to be a wrestler. Every move and maneuver was learned from him!

Joshua: wait how’d be train you, he’s a manag-

Jim Cornette: Oh come on, Jimmy, you gotta give yourself some credit, it takes a different type of man to actually take in and learn all the maneuvers and wrestling moves that I can know.

Joshua: Were you the one who taught him how that tickle submission or did he pick that up along the way?

The Undercard Jimmy: Come on, Corny, you gotta come with me, we’ll go to dairy queen

One trip to Dairy Queen later

Jimmy, Jim and Joshua sit around a table at Dairy Queen.

Jim Cornette: Oh man, that was better than a Rhea Ripley match on a wednesday!

Joshua whispering: Psst, Jimmy, why does he keep on saying things and saying on a wednesday?

The Undercard Jimmy whispering: I have no idea, I think it’s just how the Americans speak? Oh and he hates AEW

Jim Cornette: *indistinguishable american sentence, that’s insulting towards AEW on a weekday*

The Undercard Jimmy whispering: Yea, really hates them..

Children's Voice: : LOOK IT’S JIIMMMMY!!

Jimmy turns around to see a small, hyperactive, 8 year old, with a Jimmy Johnson T-shirt, looking like he’s about to explode with joy

Children's Voice: : Hi, I, my name is charlie and, and, I really like you and your cool and, and I liked the moment when, when you tickled John Reaper and, and he tapped out and you, and then, and then you submission him on Episode 6: Wrestleworld Carnival DOMINION Presents: Carnival Carnage, that was a good one and, and I really, really, think it was a cool show and, and I like that you are really good and you never give up and, and I really think it’s cool and I think you should be the captain for the Pirate division because I hope your going to win World Domination at War of the Worlds and I'm going to ask Timmy on monday if you won, because, cause he, his dad is divorced and buys the PPV’s for Timmy and, and-

The Undercard Jimmy: kiddo calm down already, I’ll tell you now…. I’m not going to win World Domination.

Small Child: : But, but you said you're never going to give up and, and-

The Undercard Jimmy: WELL THAT’S JUST THE SHOWBIZ, KIDDO my job isn’t to win matches, it’s to have fun and make money.

Small Child: : What, but.., but…

The Undercard Jimmy: Hmmp, let me spell it out for you stupid, stutter-bug Wrestling. Isn’t. Real. It’s all fake, just like Santa, you annoying snot!

Small Child: : WHAT! SANTA IS FAKE!

The Undercard Jimmy: AND SO IS WRESTLING, YOU LITTLE SHIT!

Jimmy proceeds to push the small child to the ground and steal his blizzard

The Undercard Jimmy: Corney, start the car!

Jim Cornette proceeds to start up the car as Joshua, jumps in the back since it’s his car and he doesn’t want to it to be left in the hands of american, it might turn into a pickup truck or something more southern and Jimmy’s in shotgun, watching the kid get back up.

Small Child: : I, I believed in you! You, you inspired me to never give up and, and it was all a lie! I HATE YOU, JIMMY! YOU SON OF BITCH! YOU POOPY HEAD YOU WERE MY HERO!!!!

The Undercard Jimmy: You’re gonna need to try harder than that to insult me, bucko, sticks and stones and whatever.

Small Child: : I hate you, If I was facing you in an outlaw match, I’d {a crazy amount of censored language} and then I’d {A whole lot more censored language that would make this promo not safe for life and the dead} leaving your left foot swollen and your right foot and butt twitching! I’m going to use all my money, nonna will give me for Christmas and I’m going to buy the PPV and I’m going to watch you get your ass kicked you, annoying-

Jimmy, on the verge of tears, shouts over the small child as he doesn’t want to hear any other horrendous insult, the small child has for Jimmy.

The Undercard Jimmy: *sniffle* *sniffle* well… I’M STILL THE GUY WHO GETS PAID AND YOUR THE SCHMUCK WHO PAYS TO SEE ME! NOW DRIVE CORNY! REMEMBER SANTA ISN’T REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL!

Jim Cornette starts to drive off as the voice of Jimmy and the voice of the insult-hurling boy get further and further away.

Jim Cornette: Jim! Why the hell did you lie about wrestling being fake? It’s real, you’re in the business, you’ve been in matches you know it’s real.

Joshua: HE TOLD A CHILD THAT SANTA WASN’T REAL AND THEN PUSHED HIM THE GROUND AND STOLE HIS FOOD, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FOCUSED ON THE WRESTLING!

The Undercard Jimmy: It was for the business, Corny, for the business. That kid was a fan of mine, as soon as he said I inspired him, I knew what to do. Hatred is a more powerful emotion than happiness and emotional connections. The proof is in the pudding when he was all ga ga for me, he was only going to listen to what happened on the PPV, when he got back to school, but as soon as I say that I’m merely an act, tearing down what he believes in and push him to the ground, with an attempt to hurt, suddenly he was going to buy the PPV so he could see me be beat! I’m a genius, now the PPV buys are going to be just that bit higher and if the PPV buys are just that bit higher because of me. Well, that’s me doing my job well done.

Joshua: What? Jimmy, did you fall down a flight of stairs, he idolized you, you could have just told him to buy the PPV and he’d probably do it-

Joshua interrupted by Jim Cornette breaking into tears

Jim Cornette: You son of a bitch, Johnson, you beautiful son of bitch, I knew there was something special about you, when you were too focused on practicing how to spin around really fast into a tickling position, instead of learning how to perform a headlock. Your truly a once in a lifetime star, Johnson. The People in World Domination should truly fear just how big Johnson is, the Johnson's heart that is.

The Undercard Jimmy: Thank you, Cornette, thank you, your truely a second father to me. Wait pull over! I see another kid with a Jimmy Johnson T-Shirt, let's give him a wedgie and throw him in the creek! For the wrestling business!

Jim Cornette: *an indecipherable sentence in american*