vs Devon Slayton and Victoria Strader

(The feed opens up in the Bonsai Garden. Sitting under a large cherry blossom tree, Stark is smoking a blunt with his good friend and business partner, Big Naheem.)

Naheem: Good to be out here again. Ain’t no better weed in the world.


Stark: Indeed my friend, this is some of the finest Girl Scout Pie.

Naheem: Wait what?


Stark: Yeah, it was grown by this Mexican I know. I think his name was like Nathan or something. Really ugly looking guy. He has this special growing technique called “The Father’s Touch” and that makes the Girl Scout Pie smoke even better.


Naheem: I think I’m done with this blunt man.

(Stark whistles and a chimpanzee comes swinging out of the trees, landing in front of Stark and scratching its head while screeching and hollering.)

Stark: Benny! Sit! Here, smoke the rest of this.

(Stark hands the blunt to Benny and he takes a few hits before beating his chest and swinging away. Naheem looks bewildered by what he’s looking at.)

Stark: Sorry, babysitting that monkey for my friend Kai D. Oh.

Naheem: I’m too high for this shit... 

(Stark pulls out another freshly wrapped blunt.)

Stark: Here, this is some shit you be used to. It’s that New York Sour Diesel.

Naheem: Alright now we’re talking. What’s new in WrestleWorld by the way? You been giving Devon Slayton more trouble?


Stark: Of course. I have nothing better to do. Nas pulled up too, we’ve just been beating the shit out of him week after week, fucking with his matches, just overall debauchery. I honestly don’t even know what I have against Devon Slayton, it’s just funny to watch him be confused as two legends of the industry who should probably be trying harder to compete for the illustrious championships of WrestleWorld do nothing more than mess with him. It was kind of fun doing it on my own but I was about to get bored and move on, but when I heard Nas was coming back to WrestleWorld I really only had one option. 


Naheem: I’m sure you had other options.

Stark: I mean probably, but you can’t deny this isn’t entertaining. I’m on a seven figure contract and I’m getting my paydays for going out there for five minutes a night to beat up on Devon Slayton and sit at the commentary booth talking shit all night. Considering how much pain I’ve put myself through in the past fifteen years of my career, from training right down to my last epic match against Nas at Final Destination... I am in no way above an easy pay day at this point. Here’s the thing with Devon Slayton though, that honestly kind of makes me feel bad about messing with him.

Naheem: What’s that?


Stark: For someone like him who hasn’t been on the same sort of stage that me and Nas have when it comes to the affiliated companies of WrestleWorld like OWA and SSW especially, Devon Slayton just doesn’t have that same kind of name value. If it wasn’t for me finding an easy target in The Black Savior because of how fucking funny I found that name --

Naheem: It is a pretty funny epithet.


Stark: Right? But anyways, if it wasn’t for me willingly going after Devon Slayton... who the FUCK would care about him? He’d be right back down there in the undercard fighting against his other PWN nobodies like Victoria Strader. Who the fuck is Victoria Strader?

Naheem: She was... she was in that match you called on the last Chapter.

Stark: ...


Naheem: Dude...

Stark: That wasn’t Kimberly Chase...?

Naheem: No... 

(Stark squints and looks ahead into the distance.)


Stark: Damn.

Naheem: What’s good now then? 


Stark: What else would be good? I have to go back out there on the island and let Devon Slayton pretend he has any business being in the ring with me or Nas. For me, the next Chapter is just another easy payday. I’ll be stoned out of my mind, drinking backstage, eating that fancy WrestleWorld catering, and acting like Devon Slayton is in league with me. It’s more fun than work honestly. But for Devon Slayton? This is about to be one of the most important matches of his career. After all, those small time runs in WWH or PWN or wherever the hell isn’t going to cut it Wil, when it comes to the big stage that is WrestleWorld you need the very best to stand above the rest. Devon Slayton isn’t it. 

Naheem: Come on, you can’t act like he’s a complete bum either. He’s succeeded in most of his ventures. If it wasn’t for his injury he’d be a MUCH bigger deal right now. And aside from the jokes, he can go in the ring.

Stark: Sure, you’re right about that. Devon Slayton isn’t a bum. But he isn’t exactly more than just your average guy either. Devon Slayton is your average main event wannabe, the guy who thinks he’s more important than he is. Point is, Devon Slayton is replaceable. He’s just another body for the bottom of the cards to compete with these Victoria Strader types. It could either of them or anyone else who’s an underdeveloped bum. Devon Slayton has tasted mediocre success in small companies and thinks he’s hot shit. Let’s ignore the jokes and The Black Savior stuff because the more I think about, the more I realize that shit stopped being funny two weeks ago.

Naheem: What do you mean?

Stark: What do I mean? That means I’m done playing around. I’m not here to crack jokes at Devon Slayton’s expense anymore, I’m ready to just squash this “feud” entirely, if you could even call such a one-sided affair a ‘feud’. Like I said when I first introduced myself, people have to be bugging if they think I’m not here with grander intentions. WrestleWorld is such a fantastic playground with so much potential that I haven’t even begun to explore because I got sidetracked playing around with losers like Devon Slayton. So much chaos, carnage, and war that I could participate in... I can’t wait to get started. So Devon Slayton, I hope I’ve honored you with my presence, because you and God alike both know you’d never get this sort of press or opportunity without me.

Naheem: Seems a little egotistical... 

Stark: Am I wrong? If anything I’m doing him a favor here. It’s not good to teach a newbie to leech off of greater men. Devon Slayton needs to build his own name. You’re lucky you had a funny nickname that made me want to mess with you in the first place. People actually know who Devon Slayton is now! Hell, you even have a win on record over Stark - ON PPV! That’s a big deal, just ask my tag team partner this week in Nas. But this time we’re on the same page. Devon, it would be completely disingenuous to say that you stand in my way or anything dramatic like that. You’re not an obstacle, you’re like a pebble on the ground. I could have just ignored you or stepped over you but I guess you were shiny enough for me to pick you up and throw you around for a little bit.


(Stark laughs and Naheem shakes his head.)


Naheem: You’re fucking grimy man.

Stark: But it’s time to throw you away now Devon! I don’t want to play with you anymore, because it’s time for me to move on to greater things. We fight on the stage of the Gold Rush! Every championship is on the line, the stakes are as high as they get, and the very landscape of WrestleWorld will be changed, possibly forever. And when the dust settles, when the smoke clears, when the losers will be down on their back and the victors down on their knees... that’s where I stand, waiting in the cut. A fresh Stark, a healthy Stark, a motivated Stark... and when you put those three together, that’s when I’m at my most dangerous. You want me serious this week Devon?

(Stark laughs again, unable to hold it in.)


Stark: Why the hell would you ever think YOU deserve my best?! Let me humor you Devon. You want to know what my guilty pleasure is? My guilty pleasure is making a fool’s life hell. I can’t stand the weak. I can’t stand those who fight from underneath. The only place I know is at the top! The only thing I know is domination and getting my way, and sure, I’m stopped in my tracks sometimes but it’s by greater men than you Devon. My guilty pleasure is seeing men like you struggle to fight their way to the top just to kick you down and laugh at you when you’re just one rung away from where you want to be. Sweeping the carpet out from underneath you and crushing your dreams, breaking your will... that’s what my guilty pleasure is, Devon.

Naheem: What about KPop?


Stark: Well that’s obvious. Devon it’s just hilarious to me that you’re acting like me and Nas messing with your match against whatever her name was, Vincent Slater I think, was something uncalled for or a line crossed. I was the good guy in that situation! I provided entertaining and insightful commentary to a boring match between two shitty wrestlers, and then my friend Nasir interfered and added some star power to that match! Nas getting involved and me on commentary brought more eyes to WrestleWorld for that television quarter than your match with Vanessa would have ever. The ratings were high for your match and you’re probably going to get paid more or featured more as a result! I just put money in your pocket and food on your table you ungrateful old bastard! I’m a nice guy.

Naheem: You know he’s been in the industry for 20 years right. You can’t just act like he’s a joke.

Stark: Oh yeah I know all about his miserable history. He’s a tag team expert... all that makes me think is that he doesn’t have the chops to do it alone. And if you were never able to succeed on your own in your backyard feds Devon, then you definitely won’t against me. Now add Nas to the picture, and take into account the fact that your tag team partner is... whoever she is... it’s not looking too good for you. If you’re going to say that you were ‘getting in the zone’ to defeat a nobody like Victoria Strader... yes, I do remember her name since I’m going to put the jokes aside for a second and speak to you man to man. You’re not impressive, you’re just one of the millions of others of nobodies who try their hand at our craft Devon. You want to fight... to win... to wrestle... Here's the thing with Devon. While for you that’s your entire personality, your entire character as a human being and wrestler, that’s just not enough to cut it. We’re all here to fight and wrestle, and some of us are strong enough to make sure that victory is always in their grasp. You are not one of those men, Devon Slayton.


(Stark looks into the camera, with serious intent.)

Stark: I’m just offended that you think you’re intimidating when you say shit like “everyone can be beaten... even Nas and Stark”... some things just aren’t true. Yes, I can be beaten, but not by the likes of Devon Slayton. You can talk about your dad or your old tag teams or whatever other weird relationship issues you have but whenever you feel like coming back down to reality and realize that you’re teaming up with someone who’s name isn’t fucking important enough to remember against two of the best to ever do it in this industry, you’re going to be in for a hell of a time at Chapter 30. Thing is Devon, now that I’m not having fun, there’s no way you’re going to either. This isn’t just going to be a fight to remember for you, there won’t be any honor for you after this match, you won’t get a standing ovation - it’s going to be a cold, bitter, unrewarding defeat. You are going to remember your place in this world, in the dredges, down below where I can’t see you - you’re an untouchable Devon, and I am a God, and I am going to make sure you remember that unfortunate truth.