The difference between Yu Ese and Tommy Wiseau

(The camera starts up and we see Kanaida sitting on a chair somewhere in Wrestleworld’s capital, wearing a pair of blue jeans and black t-shirt with an odd logo on it, the “Punk Rock Time Bomb” runs a hand through his longish red-streaked black hair)

Kanaida:
You something funny? If you take Yu Ese’s promo for our match at chapter five and put it against Tommy Wiseau's classic complex of a film, "The Room", you will find that everything about Wiseau's movie becomes the next fucking Citizen Kane compared to whatever the fuck Yu Ese was saying.

You see Yu Ese says that I take shit for granted, that when I saw him and instantly he assumes that I was looking for a crutch?

Yu Ese, I thought that you were a smart man but now I can honestly see that you're nothing more than the Uwe Boll of professional wrestling, an unmitigated schlock maestro with no real talent and a pathetic grasp on reality that makes Drake and Jones a couple of freaking Heizenbergs!!

The kind of person that *I* am, Yu Ese, is a man who has built himself a legacy in every company that he has ever worked for, who has busted his fucking ass since day one to prove himself in one of the most cut throat professions ever created...I was not looking for someone to, as you put it, "walk me into becoming the Campeonatos de Parejas".

I was looking for a partner to kick ass and tear down one epic chapter after another, you fucking nobody!

While I may agree with you in that I am an idiot, but that's only because I saw serious potential in you which I can honestly say is wasted on such a pathetic weakling like you!

Also, you HATE this company?

Kid, might I fucking suggest that if you hate it so much then why don't you hand the great Claudia Michaels a note saying that you want to opt out of your epic Wrestleworld contract and go fucking fuck yourself with that sixth rate circle jerk in that fourth rate garbage promotion up in Jersey that think they have all the answers!?

You come to WRESTLEWORLD, then you are expected to be apart of a roster that always takes things to the next level no matter what and to have such a schlok monkey like you running about will no doubt drag everyone else down instead!

(Kanaida stops talking and closes his eyes, trying to compose himself, gritting his teeth hard before he opens his dark eyes to look at the camera once again)

Kanaida:
You see, Yu Ese, the problem is that everything is in that disaster space you call a skull and you became so wrapped up in your assumptions that you failed to find out the truth, which was staring you right in your fugly face.

My goals were to take the tag team titles and break fucking Drake and Jones, pure...simple...honest...but according to you, you took all of my hopes away from you with a snap of your fragile fingers?

Yu Ese, in case you haven't noticed yet but SHE is still in my life, so hope never dies, bitch!!

You want to call me "garbage", tell me Yu Ese-what have you done with your career for the past several years?

Mooching off another country's welfare more than likely.

Me?

I have a college degree and several title reigns in my back pocket, as well as legit trackable history unlike you.

By the time that I'm done with you at chapter five, you are going to wish that you can turn back time and undo your fuck ups because you're going to beg... FUCKING *BEG*...me to take you in and teach you how to actually be a person and fucking wrestle.

You see I was trained how to wrestle by one of the fucking greats of our business! A man whose style is recognized as one of the most physical and demanding ones out there but it is one of the most well rounded ones in existence.

If I'm nothing more than a stepping stone, then after I put your body through the worst beating that has and ever will have see...

...what will that make you?

Oh, and that smell of failure that you keep smelling? Hate to be the one to break the news to you but not bathing for two years like you apparently have not done...is a clear indication that you're more of a failure than just as a wrestler, bitch.

Also you're not going to take over Wrestleworld, but you are going to do exactly what Bobby Bishop said and tuck your fucking tail and go back down to Mexico where you are somebodies bottom bitch and stay there, because YOUR 15 minutes of fame are just about up.

So come to chapter five and bring all of this shit talk you've been doing, Uwe Boll. Bring it to me and do your best because I can guarntee you that you're not even in the same fucking league as I am!

(At this point, Kanaida stands up and leans into the camera’s view, his face twisted into a slightly crazed dark smile)

Kanaida:
So I invite you to come to Wrestleworld, Yu Ese, come and get ready to fully experience why exactly they call me the “Punk Rock Time Bomb”, Yu.

Because your self image is about to explode into nothing, bitch!!

(The video feed abruptly cuts out)