Wednesday 12:00 noon, at the Wrestleworld Castle. Claudia Michaels walks in the AudioVisual area of the Wrestleworld Castle right at the elevated stage where the large TV is. She wears her hair on a tight ponytail matched with a pair of reading glasses over her eyes and a smile covered with make-up and bloody-red lipstick. The tapping of the wooden floor can be heard. She wears a pencil skirt right below her plain white ruffled blouse and black high heels, looking like an educator. She looks at her “students” which are pretty much the three members of Underworld, The Professional wearing his normal expensive black suit, Wraith on his jeans and Armani button-up shirt, and Maverick in his leather jacket and sunglasses.
Claudia Michaels: Hello team!
The three are seated on different chairs but there’s just one long table that they share. The long table has a few things on it, not a pen or paper, but ashtrays and cigarettes and glasses of alcoholic beverages.
Claudia Michaels: I know, I know. It’s a little to early to be having an Underworld meeting since we normally do this on a Saturday, but I shall make an exception because this is an emergency class! I call this one Cloud Matsuda 101: How to Spot a Tryhard. My name, as you know, is Queen-Professor Michaels and I promise that you will learn lots in this class!
The view pans on the outside where the AudioVisual room has a sign next to its door.
The scene goes back to the “Classroom”. Wraith casually raises his hand for a question.
Claudia Michaels: What is it, Ser Wraith?
Wraith: I have a 12:30 at a waxing salon, I was hoping to free that schedule? You think it’s possible we can do this in the afternoon?
Claudia Michaels: Why, no! This is important! This is crucial! Just re-schedule that, I’m sure one more Jaydayne Pendragon Rainforest day in your pants won’t inconvenience you.
Wraith: Hey, that wasn’t-- alright fine.
Maverick raises his hand quickly right after.
Claudia Michaels: Prince Maverick!
Maverick: So why do we need to learn this? We already know what she looks like. Can’t we just get in there and bust her face open after we’re done with Sweet Melody?
Claudia Michaels: I am making this class mandatory and that’s final! You see, a Cloud Matsuda could take many forms and shapes! This course would be helpful in case you encounter this hideous beast in the wild, you may even end up saving each other’s lives! Later on, we will also have a role-playing assignment on what to do when you encounter one!
The Professional now raises his hand as he’s about to speak…
Claudia Michaels: Yes, Mr. Professional…. We can smoke while in class.
He then nods and lowers his hand. Claudia then adjusts her glasses. She raises her arms and claps twice to turn on the TV.
Claudia Michaels: So… Without further ado… Let’s begin our lesson!
Claudia takes the small remote control and clicks on it to show the first slide.
Claudia Michaels: This… THIS is what a Cloud Matsuda looks like in her natural habitat. As you can see that there’s always a hint of desperation from the way she poses and the way she stands is always an indication of a terrible posture! She also lives and breathes lies and bullshit that it’s almost easy to tell when she’s approaching! Just a simple poorly designed “War Queen” merch from afar is all it would take! She obviously doesn’t have good manners or wasn’t told how to properly present herself to the world with decency and lord knows how her parents raised her that made her into this attention-hogging mess of a creature. Her bluish hair is definitely a symbol of her lack of identity or originality that she finds any means for the fans to believe that she is unique or edgy when in truth there is absolutely nothing special, nothing amazing that she could bring to the table. BUT do not underestimate this woman in any way! She is not only the most unintelligent form of life, but she is also a hypocrite and a slanderous snake so beware… Only one person, her complete opposite -- would be the one strong enough to be the Anti-Cloud Matsuda…
Claudia Michaels clicks the button again to reveal the next slide.
Claudia Michaels: … The Queen of the World. You see, this is pure beauty and perfection in one picture. She has confidence and poise and she is simply not comparable to the abomination that is Cloud Matsuda in the other picture, or any other “competition” that stands in her way for that matter! This one has a connection to nature and she lives by certain values! She is a kind and benevolent Queen! She is merciful to those who deserve her mercy! She looks like a Queen, speaks like a Queen and acts like a Queen, and everyone can see it. She is faithful and loyal to one husband, while Cloud Matsuda has once heavily implied a few weeks ago in a conversation with an evil witch called Aria Jaxon that she is willing to diddle Crazy Violet’s toosh so she can become part of the family, all while still in a relationship! How messed up is that? How irresponsible can you be to desire your own trainee? This is one of many reasons why the Queen of the World is better than this so-called War Queen and how this moron has never earned the right to challenge for the American Dream Championship, and why this amazing gal called Claudia Michaels is the only one that can stop this evildoer pretending to be one of the good guys! Despicable!
Claudia claps twice again to turn off the large screen.
Wraith: Oh, sweet, that’s actually not so bad… That was shorter than I thought. Didn’t even take more than 10 min---
Claudia Michaels: And that concludes the Introduction!
Wraith: Oh...
Claudia Michaels: We’ll take a 5-minute smoke break and when we come back, we will do a class roleplay where ONE of you will be putting on a blue wig and we can properly discuss and exhibit how to avoid such creature!
Claudia Michaels smiles as the class takes 5.
***
Sat Dec 03, 2022 4:36 pm by 
Subject: Claudia Michaels | No One Comes Close 
