[A rather somber April appears in her hotel room in Dallas as the video begins. She’s sitting at a desk dressed in all black athletic gear: a performance tank top and form-fitting pants. Looking into the camera, she lifts up the letter that she received from the Professional.]
Masked man, I was finding your games interesting, even entertaining to a point. Now, you’re starting to piss me off a little bit. Not because you bring up winning the battle royal that I was in to rightly earn this title shot that you have. That’s a matter of record that I would be dumb to argue with and I’m not fucking dumb. Not because you point out the state of Reno, Maverick and Nobi. All of them have something going against them going into this match: Reno’s out for blood to the point I seriously wonder if this match is actually about winning the American Dream title for him instead of his desire to bash you and Queenie’s heads in. Nobi’s main problem in my opinion, besides your apparent disdain for him and obsession with keeping him from holding the American Dream title, is that he is too polite, too respectful of Claudia. I understand his reverence for her seeing as she’s one of the best to do this pro wrestling thing...but he just feels like he’s talking to her and is preparing to wrestle her giving her far too much respect. Maverick is just a shell of the guy he was just a couple of weeks ago and a lot of that has to do with me giving him a heavy dose of humility in the chamber that “someone” had conveniently lowered during our fight. While your offer is tempting as can be I do have to ask you one question:
DO YOU THINK I’M A FOOL?
Yeah, I could sit back and have a little tea break during the chamber and watch you dispatch all those men. Honestly, it would play to my advantage to avoid all this bullshit and just pick my spots when I can (looking at you, Maverick) and just wait it out to see who is left standing in the end. But do you honestly believe that I’m going to trust YOU and Claudia Michaels to “Do the right thing” and have a “fair fight” when it’s down to us three? HA! That’s fucking amazing. What would stop you and her from beating me senseless and then you lay down for your queen? Against one of you, I would say I probably have a coin flip’s worth of a chance to win the title. A two on one scenario in a structure like the elimination chamber I know that as good as I am that I am absolutely in a no-win situation. So, I appreciate your polite response and offer but I’m going to pass. If you want to clear Nobi and Reno and Maverick out of the way, I’m certainly not going to be in the way. But if you think that I’m going to let you two play your games unopposed and just let you clear everyone out so you can perform cunnilingus on your queen on Worldwide Television, that’s a negative, Tuxedo Mask.
Oh, just so everyone is on the level here, I don’t dislike HBG or Claudia or Queen or whatever name or nickname she’s choosing to go by at a given second. You seem to have this strange conspiracy mapped out where I played some kind of Jedi Mind Trick on Jaywalker so I could have a shot here...well, I can’t speak for why JayJay restarted the match after Maverick weaseled his way to a win in the first fall. Maybe he just wanted to round out the numbers for the chamber without any extra legwork. Maybe he just wanted to twist the knife in Claudia’s back a little more. I don’t know and I don’t care. My only concern, my only focus, is on relieving Claudia Michaels of the American Dream Championship and adding it to my collection. And one last thing, you seemed to imply quite heavily that I’m hiding something from the rest of the world. I’ll put it to you like this, not just to the Prof or Claudia, but to everyone: I’m not one to tell lies, but I Am A Savage. I didn’t garner a reputation as one of the most cruel submission artists in professional wrestling by accident. To use crude vernacular, I get off on hurting big strong boys like yourself, Nobi and Reno, and loud women like Claudia.
Speaking of the Queen, fuck you, but I have no intention of just stepping aside and letting you do whatever you want. In the old days, when I was in that “other place” you may have been right. The April Song from say, 2018, may have not fared as well in this match. I had no experience in such insane matches as the Elimination Chamber. But over the years, I have gotten quite a lot of experience in violent, bloody matches.
[April leans in, parting her hair and showing a nasty looking scar running along several inches of her scalp.]
You see that? I got that wrestling in Japan. Deathmatch. You know, that crazy shit where they do time bombs and barbed wire and all? I did that. And survived. There’s another scar, right here on my shoulder blade. I got that one going through a glass table in some weird mansion brawl I had going for a title. There’s another one on my knee from a ladder match. I take pretty damn good care of myself, but I can’t hide ALL the scars. I have battered my body in everything from submission matches, Ultimate X Matches to deathmatches. I have improvised, adapted and overcome. And every fucking time a new obstacle was presented….I walked right through it straight to the gold I wanted. You think my supposed lack of versatility and talent means I’m some sort of terrible candidate to hold the American Dream title. I beg to differ. I’m perfect for the title because I’m perfect for the nation and wrestling style it represents. Think about it: some scrawny little half-Korean girl with a French-Canadian mom spends her youth learning martial arts of two continents, then grows up and absorbs the best wrestling attributes of the European, American and Japanese styles and fuses it into something uniquely her own, uniquely American. So, in case you are hard of hearing, take your mercy, shove it up your tightly wound ass, and get ready to see me on Sunday.
Reno and Nobi...Look, I really really like the two of you. Nobi, like myself, is on an expedition for gold. He’s already got a piece of gold, and he has a chance to leave with a little more like me. He’s even beaten me in a tag team match! Unfortunately for you, Nobi, this ain’t a tag team match. It’s not even a normal match. It’s one of the most dangerous matches ever created. Anything goes….and nobody cares. Nobody cares about the pain they inflict on others. They don’t care if it’s friend or foe they are battering on. They don’t care what keeps someone down as long as they fucking stay down. Nobi, I am still very much concerned if you’re going to have your mind right by the time we get locked in those pods or stand in that ring. Because once I’m locked in that Chamber, all my friendships, all my dislikes and worries, all that other shit is pushed to the perimeter in my brain. The only thing on my mind is going to be the absolute destruction of anything not named April Song that is breathing within the confines of that chamber. I hope this clears up any confusion. You have been through a lot, man, but compared to the hell that awaits us, the various stages of hell that I’ve been through….you’ve never seen anything like it. This isn’t a battle royal. It’s not a tag team match. It’s fucking war.
As for you, Reno, yeah, you’re a certain kind of predator are you? You’re like a lion or tiger or something. Big bad predator man looking to take what is his, or what he BELIEVES to be his. I’ve made no secret that I think you should already have this title in your possession, but the reality is that you don’t...and won’t once we’re locked into that chamber. I have no problem with you beating the shit out of Claudia, Maverick or the Professional Masked Asskisser. I don’t care what Mega Powers break up you and Nobi have if it gets down to the nitty gritty. Just be well aware that as good as you are, as tough as you are, as dangerous as you are...I don’t care. I’ve seen plenty of big strong men in my life, not just in wrestling but on the jiu jitsu mat and on the battlefield. Every man has a breaking point.
I will find yours. I will find Nobi’s. I will find The Professional’s. I will find Claudia’s. I think I’ve already found Maverick’s.
The REAL Professional, the AMERICAN Queen, the LEGIT Wild Card...the FIRST RECOGNIZED American Dream Champion: April Song.
I like the sound of that.
Sat Dec 03, 2022 4:36 pm by 
Subject: Insert Catchy Name Here! (April vs Everybody Part 2) 
