Boiling Point

Subject: Boiling Point Thu Aug 12, 2021 4:09 am

[YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE SO FLY ZONE]

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Gotta pay the bills somehow, right? Well it looks like So Fly feels that way. He’s finally entered into the year 2005 and started up his own YouTube channel. What kind of content does he make, you ask? Shit, hell if I know. This guy is standing in a fuckin kitchen with a fake mustache and chef hat on while he chops up some veggies. As if he’s gonna be eating veggies. Yall know this boy don’t eat nothing that ain’t fried and greasy or drowned in butter. So Fly’s eyes light up as he looks up to the camera.

“Oh, almost didn’t see you there! Welcome to the So Fly Kitchen Hour! I am your Host, So Fly himself, Mr. Don Jordan. Now yall might be wondering exactly what the hell I’m doing here right now. Some might be asking if I should be wasting my time in a kitchen when I should be in a gym, prepping for a huge Hybrid Tag Team Championship defense. Good question! But you know what an even better question is? What can we cook today? Well, as you all know, we’ve got a new Grand Tour coming up this Saturday. A very special one by the name of Violent Delights. You know what’s delightful? Cooking. You know what can be violent at times? Cooking. If there’s one thing So Fly loves, it’s a good cooked meal. So how about we tie it all together? How about we have ourselves a Violently Delightful Meal!”

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Is this boy for real? The only thing violent about his meals is the way he eats them, and there sure as shit ain’t nothin delightful about that. Yet here he is, keeping up with this charade as he pulls out a big pot and puts it on a nearby stove top. After that, So Fly pulls out a bigass Crab and… A Train? The hell is he gonna do with a toy Train?

“Now this is a themed meal so it’s gonna have to be prepared in a very particular way. We have our two main ingredients right here to represent So Fly and Coach Hank’s opponents. We’ve got a crab here to represent none other than Senor Pinchy, and we’ve got a Train here that reps TJ Thompson. Get it? HIP TRAIN! WOO WOO! Ain’t that cute? Put that shit on a t-shirt and it’ll sell like hot cakes, but we ain’t about that hot cake life today. We’re about this little duo we’ve got going on here. Now I know what yall are thinking. You’re thinking that a crab and a toy train are two completely diff things. You’re thinking there’s absolutely no way you could ever hope to prepare anything even remotely delicious using these two as main ingredients! Well that just goes to show how ignorant some people can be, cause let me tell ya, Mama So Fly didn’t raise no fool and she taught So Fly all about the art of cooking. She taught him that no matter how different two ingredients might be, there’s always a way to make em work. Ain’t that what the Hybrid Tag Title Division is all about? I mean these two boys have been Champs before! Hell, Pinchy is ½ of the first ever Champs AND a two-time Champ! They know all about what it takes to make these ingredients work! You throw those two in a pot and they figure out how it needs to be to come out of it with something delicious. That’s what it takes to be in this Division and that’s what it takes to get these Titles! That… That….”

Oh shit, So Fly smacks the pot off of the stove and sends it crashing to the ground. That look of joy that he had glued to his ugly mug ain’t so joyful anymore. Like a wave of anger just washed over this big boy. So Fly breathes heavily, nostrils flaring and all as he removes the comically big fake mustache and takes off the chef hat. Ain’t such a fun time all of a sudden. Things feel a lot more intense as So Fly looks towards the camera.

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“Nah… Nah, man… I’m just forcin it by this point. I’m trying too hard to keep myself chipper for yall. See, I love my fans. I love the support I get from people that understand Don Jordan and his story. As big as I am, shit, I feel like I’m always the underdog. But they support me. They love an underdog. Maybe they’re the underdog in life too. Maybe they live vicariously through me. But they support me and I appreciate that. I try to put on a show for them, but right now, I just ain’t feelin it. On the outside I got all this goofy shit on and I’m making jokes for someone to laugh at, but inside all I’ve got bouncing around in my head is the L’s I’ve been getting spoonfed for weeks now. I can taste that shit on my tongue. On the roof of my mouth. In the back of my throat. I can taste that bitterness. That shit tastes metallic like blood, feel me? I talk and I talk and I talk some more about what it means to be a Champ around here and what the Hybrid Division means and how Coach and I are as a team. I talk all that shit like I know something, yet here I am with loss after loss after loss, wondering what I ain’t doing right. Maybe what I ain’t doing right is I ain’t takin them seriously enough. I bust my ass to get here and I bust my ass to stay here. You better believe Imma bust my ass to keep my half of the Hybrid Tag Titles come Saturday. I thought it didn’t mean nothin when Coach and I gave TJ a shot at our Titles and made Pinchy his partner. I told myself the past two weeks were in the past. I got outshined. Coach and I got outshined. It is what it is. But then that very same night on DOMINION, Pinchy digs his claws in and gets my ass on the mat, one, two, three, ring the bell.”

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“And I realize what the mistake is I been makin. I see it now, clear as day. Clear as fuckin day. I’ve been complacent, ya feel me? I’ve been takin it all in stride. All the L’s. I’ve got enough to fill this fuckin room. I’ve got enough to make me sick to my stomach, cause I know I’m better than that. I ain’t wanting this to be the height of So Fly’s career. I don’t want this shit to be the pinnacle of my mountain. I want this to be the bottom rung and it’s only up from here. I wanna keep winning and keep achievin. I wanna reach the sky and not feel any fuckin glass ceiling getting in my way. I don’t wanna stop here. I wanna stay Hybrid Tag Champs with Coach. I wanna go beyond that and win the Territorial Championship someday. I wanna fly. I ain’t been flyin the way things have been goin for me. I ain’t been flyin. I’ve been lazing around on my ass. I need a fire. I need to be competitive more than ever. Pinchy, I took that shit personally. More personally than you can imagine, boy. Your crustacean punk ass got me once, and there ain’t gonna be a second time, I promise you that. I PROMISE you that, boy. TJ, I gotta apologize to you in advance. We fucked up. We gave you this match. We gave you Pinchy as your partner. And we’re gonna give you the ass whoopin for a lifetime for standing in our way. That Hip Train stuff is cute though, no doubt. But I’m finna derail your ass come Saturday.”

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“Hit a train with enough force and it goes flying off the tracks. Put crabs in a bucket and watch em climb on top of each other until one can escape. Just one though. That’s all. You’re not the only crab here, Pinchy. I’ve been struggling in this bucket and gettin my ass stepped on for far, far too long. I’ve been getting knocked off my tracks time and time again, TJ. This ain’t just a defense anymore for me. Hell nah. This is everything. I got something to prove. I need this more than either of yall understand. More than Coach could ever understand. I need this. And I ain’t playing games anymore until I do. The only fun I’ve got left to offer is the fun of dancing all over your asses at Violent Delights. So yeah, I guess yall could say this ties in after all, huh? I’m gonna get violent. And oh hell yeah, I’m gonna be delighted the whole damn time. Believe that. Yes sir.”

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» Straight to the point
» No Save Point.
» Die For Proving the point
» What is your point, Amber?
» LK - Three Point Presentation - Spitfires vs. Ace and AJ.