Mal's Brunchtime Conspira-Sea! Episode 2- Heart of the Ocean

(We're met with the now familiar jostling footage of Mallory Montana's cellphone camera as she brings it into focus on her face as she passes through a pair of glass double doors. Behind her, the picturesque poolside area of Eden plays as backdrop. Over the door, a sign hangs reading "Eden Gymnasium". As she enters, the echos of hard mat bumps and squeaking sneakers almost overtake her phone mic as she attempts to scream over the hustle and bustle of those working out around her,)

Mallory Montana: Hello Wrestleworld, it's Mallory Montana here again with another entry into my vlog series as I continue my search for answers in regards to Senor Pinchy's identity. Today's interviewee is none other than Wrestleworld prodigy and European Champion Cynthia Rose.

"ohmigosh!"

(Mallory's fake smile almost slips as the approaching pitter patter of sneakers coming her way takes her off guard. Cynthia Rose suddenly dives into frame with a huge glomp around the neck of Mallory as her mouth stays frozen in it's interviewer smile and her eyes scream for 'help'.)

Cynthia Rose: I'm sooo happy to meet you finally! I have no idea what Percy worried about. He only lets me talk to Joy. Don't get me wrong, Joy's a sweetheart but she carries such a cold demeanor of anonymity. I know nothing about the girl. It's as if she were designed to be an interviewer and nothing else.

(Mallory cuts her eyes at the camera and gives it a wink.)

Mallory Montana: Almost as if she's a robot?

Cynthia Rose: I wouldn't be so rude as to say that but-

Mallory Montana: Don't worry, that one's on my future investigations list.

Cynthia Rose: Oh right! You're here on some sort of mystery scavenger hunt?

Mallory Montana: Not quite, but sorta. I'm trying to figure out who Senor Pinchy is and where he came from.

Cynthia Rose: And Wrestleworld's okay with you prying into a wrestler's life like that? Where's your cameraman by the way?

Mallory Montana: HE CAN'T BE TRUSTED! WRESTLEWORLD CAN'T BE TRUSTED!

(Cynthia slowly unwraps her arms from Mallory's neck as Montana sternly looks into the camera lens, her eye twitching manically before she snaps back into interviewer mode, much to Cynthia's confused horror.)

Mallory Montana: So, you told Percy that you trained with Pinchy?

Cynthia Rose: What?...Oh, y-yeah. Once. He came into Eden for one of the training seminars that I attend on days that Percy isn't training me. He was pretty good, but he really didn't go out of his way to make friends or endear himself to the class or anything.

Mallory Montana: Hmmm. I wonder why he only came to one class.

Cynthia Rose: IIIIII actually know the answer to that question. His training style was a bit...unorthodox, let's say.

Mallory Montana: How so?

Cynthia Rose:...Well, we'd start doing something mundane like doing a criss-cross running of the ropes and he'd stop mid-ring and just...uhm...clasp on to people's...nipples.

Mallory Montana: WHAT?!

(Startled by Mallory's sudden outburst, Cynthia self-consciously crosses her arms over her chest defensively. Picking up on the physical tick, Mallory looks Cynthia up and down in disbelief.)

Mallory Montana: Did he-

Cynthia Rose: I-I'd rather not talk about it. Shortly after an incident that Wrestleworld HR is still looking into, he was booted out of class and requested to never come back by lead trainer Peter.

Mallory Montana:...The cameraman?

Cynthia Rose: I don't think he's a cameraman, but maybe?

Mallory Montana: What's he look like?

Cynthia Rose: He's about 6'1'', brown hair, in shape, somewhere around my age. Maybe a little older?

Mallory Montana: That doesn't sound like my Pete, but thanks for the trainer's stats anyway, stalker.

(Cynthia blushes a little.)

Mallory Montana: I'm kidding, I'm kidding. He sounds cute.

(Cynthia cuts her eyes around the gym nervously before leaning in a little closer.)

Cynthia Rose: I asked him out a few days ago, but I don't want Percy to know just yet.

Mallory Montana: I'm sure he wouldn't mind. He was telling me that the two of you were recently talking about finding a personal life outside of one another's professional connection.

Cynthia Rose: Yeah, and then you shot him down. What the heck, Mallory? Percy's great!

Mallory Montana: It's nothing personal, I'm just a very career driven woman. Trust me, you wouldn't want me as a surrogate stepmom.

Cynthia Rose: Don't say it that way, ew That makes it weird. Ew!

Mallory Montana: It's even weirder when you consider the first man you've been attracted to on this island is another trainer. A little oedipal if you ask me.

Cynthia Rose: EW! OHMIGOSH! Shut up! EW! It's not like that with Peter!

Mallory Montana: Don't even get me started with him being named Peter with your whole...you know, Tinkerbell complex. You've got a real kinky relationship forming.

Cynthia Rose: GROSS! LANGUAGE!

Mallory Montana: I'm beginning to understand why Percy tried to keep me away for so long.

Cynthia Rose: I get it! you'd be horrible to be around if you were dating Percy. No need to drive the point home so hard. Gah!

Mallory Montana: Glad we've come to an understanding. Anything else about Pinchy you care to share?

Cynthia Rose: Like what?

Mallory Montana: I don't know? Have you seen him since he was kicked out of class?

Cynthia Rose: Yeah, he's here at Eden.

Mallory Montana: Wait,what? Really?

Cynthia Rose: Yeah, I kind of owe him a thank you actually. He saved my sobriety.

Mallory Montana: Pinchy SAVED someones sobriety? Oh this I gotta hear.

Cynthia Rose: As I said, the trainer and I were getting kinda flirty during classes. I didn't know if he was serious or not until one night after training Peter left a bottle of aged scotch on my doorstep with a cute note. I never told him that I was recovering, but I couldn't just throw away a gift and it just looked so good. I had a moment of weakness, but I bargained with myself that I wasn't going to drink it neat. Either way it would've been a bad idea, and despite it being an absolute sin to water down good scotch I went up to get ice on the main floor.

Mallory Montana:...and how does Pinchy factor into all of this?

Cynthia Rose: When got to the ice maker there he was; rocking back and forth in the ice chest in the fetal position, no doubt half frozen to death. Apparently he'd taken up residence there. He said 'hola' and offered me a claw full of ice. Naturally I politely declined. If it weren't for him plopping his tomalley in that ice box I would've cleared the bottle by morning, no question. Instead I gave it back to Peter the next day and told him all about...well...the incident. I think it brought us closer, which I didn't expect.

Mallory Montana: Wow, what a harrowing and bizarre tale. Is Pinchy still there?

Cynthia Rose: No. He was gone the next morning. I went back down to thank him the next day and all I found was an empty ice box reeking of bleach and some half dried footprints leading to a nearby janitor's closet. I'm guessing he left quite the mess in there for them to clean up. Personally, I try not to dwell on it. I've been walking up two flights to get ice from the second floor machine ever since.

Mallory Montana: The janitor's closet, huh? Considering his hermit crab propensity for taking up residence in dark, cramped, and unusual spaces, do you think those footprints might've belonged to Pinchy?

Cynthia Rose: I 'unno. I barely know the guy.

Mallory Montana: Any chance he's your beau-to-be Peter?

Cynthia Rose: Uhm, I seriously doubt it. I've seen them in the same place at the same time. Besides, Peter's like a whole head taller than Pinchy.

"Who the hell is Peter?"

(Cynthia's lovey-dovey glowing demeanor drains of all color as the giddy for drama Mallory swings the phone around to reveal Percy entering the gym. Percy cocks his eyebrow at the sight of the camera and then stares past it at Mallory.)

Percy: And why the hell are you still here? It shouldn't take this long to get info on a crazy crab man.

Mallory Montana: We were just wrapping up. I'll leave you two to discuss hot trainer boy Peter as I close out this edition of the vlog with a sign-off.

Percy: The trainer?!

Cynthia Rose: Percy, I-

(Mallory walks out from the slowly closing gap between the bickering teacher-student combo and out the door, leaving them in the background in a full on argument as she exits the gym.)

Mallory Montana: And thus concludes this week's edition of Mal's Brunchtime Conspiracy. Tune in next Saturday when I investigate the past whereabouts of Senor Pinchy for more clues.

(A loud bang coming from the gymnasium causes Mallory to jump. Soon after, Percy storming out the door and past Mallory Montana as she stands stone statue still until he passes out of shot.)

Mallory Montana: See ya!

Percy: (off-camera) The hell if you ever get another interview!

(Cut to black)