DOMINION - Circumventing the rules...

( Chad reveals a NEW look... he has shaved his beard since Thad insulted it a few days ago, and has taken all the facial hair from his chin strap and transferred it to above the lip so he could look like a 70's porn star. )

Once more... CHAD NEWS TRAVELS FAST. And you are looking at the NEW... and IMPROVED... Chad Kennedy. While my idiot half brother likes to call me Chode, it's only because he's so obsessed with dick that he has to affiliate his own brother with the word. I always knew Thaddy was of the gays. And before you call me a homophobe please enlighten yourself. I donated a generous amount of money to a LGBTQ foundation... I sincerely hope they find the cure they are looking for SOON. I would have donated to BLM but I don't believe in protests anymore.

Anyway, yeah - Thud you're nothing but a little bitch, you know that? You're lucky I was there to save you from Steelio or else you would have been getting an ass pounding of a LIFETIME. I know that's what you wanted but do it in your own hotel, sicko. I'm not sure why you're always so eager to get into the ring with sweaty old men like Steelio but maybe that's just your kink. Thud Kennedy is LUCKY I'm the older brother because if we had to rely on his brains well... let's just say Forest Gump could put forth a more coherent sentence. We can only deal with one ret-- We can only deal with one idiot at at ime. Steelio is enough for my liking so how about you start acting your age? You're not SIX anymore. IT'S TIME TO DISENGAGE FROM YOUR MOMMA'S NIP. Trying to rely on you in that ring this week is going to be a disaster, but at least its not the disaster that's going on between your teeth, bucko. What are you trying to do, shave down a tree with those things? Jesus christ, if you're going to show them at least bite off Steelio or Wondernerd girl's ear like Mike Tyson. That would be AWESOME. You better get in line and follow my lead because one week of listening to you I've already gotten myself stuck doing Wrestleworld Therapy... who the hell even needs Sensitivity Training anyway? What kind of Social Justice Warrior place is this? Where are MY rights to say what I want? If you want to punish Thud that's fine, at least he'll be with his own kind in a psyche ward but word therapy or whatever the hell the email you guys sent me is just total garbage. I can't wait to see what freaks we meet in there, I'm sure they can't be worse than those virgins we'll be seeing across the ring.

Honestly, getting called in to do this sensitivity training by Jaywalker is a breath of fresh air... it means I've been given freedom to say what I WANT, when I WANT until that point. Because yeah - I may have said a few inappropriate things at the Casting Couch but it was ALL warranted! I mean just look at what that butch bitch did to my beautiful hair at! She pulled it! I was going to offer to be pulling HER hair but now that's off the table... I mean, unless?

OKAY, OKAY... No, Miss Flat Chested thinks she can blindside me and call it a victory, HELL NO. I already told one of these savage women to hit the road, I can make her hit the road too. I'll push her out of Wrestleworld and the only way she'll ever be allowed to come back is if she gets down on her kne-- if she prays to GOD that I'm not here to rue in her wake. Yeah, you surprised me a little bit - I didn't think you'd be so aggressive. If I knew the sexual tension was that strong I would have made my move sooner but you know what, onto the next one. And speaking of next ones... previous ones... well, I'm NOT going to lie. I didn't expect Kelsey to be coming out with Steelio but hey, she's allowed to donate to charity too. I just wonder how much he's paying her... let me tell you Steelio, you aren't getting the price of admission, that's for sure. Anyway, yeah - I think it's cute that Steelio is enjoying my sloppy seconds. Fun fact though Steely - a woman isn't worth a damn thing to ya once she's preggo. That mountain has been climbed, and now you get the Chadisfaction of raising that little Kennedy. Enjoy your stay, loser. I'm not salty... like not at all.

But listen here Woodstock - you're just a loser mooching off the success of your little gamer nerd girlfriend. Only thing worse than losing to Thad is the fact that you even had help in your corner. I can't believe you let Thadso Fatso pin you for the one two three?! It doesn't get more embarrassing than that. I'm sure you couldn't breathe after he was on top of you for that long period of time. I'm sure he crushed every bone in your body and you will be nothing but a moving corpse this week! I really don't get the point of this match, we've already covered that if Thud can take the two of you out on his lonesome then it's no match when the physically and mentally more impressive Kennedy gets his chance. I mean this is just a handicap match, it was subtraction by addition the second you entered the fold Steelio. Oh well. Maybe I'll give Kelsey a little visit after the show, and since you are REALLY trying to get to me, I'll show that bimbo one last final ride. But after she's had her 300 seconds of fun, I'll slap her with a restraining order because otherwise she'll be expecting me to picking up diapers and that's YOUR job now.

Alice baby, it's not too late. You can come over with the Chaddaddy and we can forget this entire mess even happened. I mean, we can make a mess of ourselves if you'd like. But I think it's time you ditched Steelio and any suggestion that he's actually going to be your boy toy. He's not worth the time and honestly his body is all greased up like he hasn't taken a shower in YEARS. His pits stink and I can only imagine the dick cheese that has accumulated all these years. Should have been circumcised, bro. But I suppose it isn't all so bad, maybe after Kelsey finally realizes you're a quarter of a man with a penny's worth ambition, she'll come crawling back to the Chaddaddy. I might slap those cheeks one last time but the Chad will just hit and quit it like before. You'll still have Alice... OH WAIT. It won't be long before Miss Titty Streamer realizes that you are as worthless in the ring as your viking beard and she'll leave your ass too. But hey, since we've covered that Thaddy is into that kind of thing, you and Thud can play Chinese Finger Traps.

( Camera man looks on confused)

Come on, don't make me spell this out for you. It's REALLY gross, almost as gross as Thad when he looks at you cross-eyed. Ugh, alright FINE. You take the excess skin, overlap it over HIS exce -- Alright, ALRIGHT - I ALREADY HAVE TO GO THROUGH SENSITIVITY TRAINING, I can't go any further.

( Chad's microphone apparently seems to not be working anymore... )

(Without a mic) OH COME ON...

( Chad gives an audible sigh, he looks ahead of him as if he's been given a warning as the microphone turns back on. )

Whatever. I'll see you losers tomorrow night. Alice, wear your reddest lip stick because I expect you to be kissing me all over. Steelio, wear your blackest underwear because you're going to be shitting bricks all night long. You'll be shivering out there, not being able to take anymore embarrassment to the Kennedy Unit.

While big is implied... you just can't match up to the Kennedy schlong creepo. This is going to be the longest night of your life and all that is left to be decided now is how you want to take it. Think on it... because come tomorrow, you won't be able to get me out of your head!

Alice you say GAME ON... well guess what:

TOP OFF!