THE LAST WORD CHAMPIONSHIP

While Jimmy gets up to run away, a mysterious man resembling Drake but with a lucha libre mask on so clearly not him chokes Jimmy while Drake covers Jimmy to win the Championship back.

But then Drake wakes up on the floor, the same floor he wss pinned on by jimmy, the same floor he was standing on when he got attacked by that unknown man in a blue mask. He realizes that he didn't win the last word title. He realizes that hes just a pathetic loser.........

But then he also realizes that Jimmy Johnson, much like his father, is also a loser and therefore is ineligible to be an actual legitimate Last Word Champion and automatically wins the Championship back.

Suddenly Akuma shows up and beats the shit out of Drake, leaving him with broken limbs, blood and dislocations in a puddle of dolphins piss on the floor. Akuma puts a foot on Drake pinning him.

Suddenly Drake rips off Akuma's mask to reveal Jimmy Johnson which automatically gets him the Championship back somehow don't question it.

Jimmy walks into scene and sees Drake tackling Jimmy's evil twin brother Jimmy Johnson, dressed in a Akuma costume.

Jimmy thanks the last word champion for stopping his evil brother, by letting him ride off into the sunsets as the last ever Last word Champion........


















10 years later

Drake is 67 years old and after a long wrestling career he retires vacated all titles that he holds, The last word championship is to awarded a new winner in a tournament in Rio de Janeiro. Luckily after beating every man, women, child and object. Jimmy wins the tournament to become the new Last word champion

I considered responding with something elaborate, but then I decided not to because I just want my Championship back. And look, it worked.

I can make my pins even more simple than you.

Wow! Longest reigning Last Word Champion! A huge accomplishment! Do you have anything to say to the people on your historic reign and heartbreaking loss just now?

Honestly, I'm broken, I don't think I will ever recover from losing the title, Drake. If only there was some type of way, I could win it back..................... Too bad it's impossible to win it back, congrats Drake, you're going to end up as the last, last word champion.

Have you ever wondered what was going through the person's mind that said their first word in the history of the world?

He has probably wondering why Jacob Steele didn't update his WrestleWorld Record or maybe he wondered why the last word title died and decided to kick the dead horse, just so he could see it move again.

Next comment wants to sleep with Chad

I mean.... If I'm getting paid.....

Takes the belt after Jimmy Johnson does the job

Don't mind me, I'm just visiting to reclaim my Championship. You all have a nice day.

... but at what cost? 

This Championship? 

This life?

Thank you.

Suddenly Claudia awoken from her dream, she was not a champion, but a ZOMBIE! She looks around to see the mauled corpse of Reno Dumont around other zombies playing Pokemon Go and Drake Jaeger doing the Thriller dance. Claudia is tapped on the shoulder by a minion in front of her.

What should I do now, my queen?

Claudia comes to the realization that she is the queen of these zombies. She is taken aback at first but then remembers that she is in yet another dream and wakes up to Jimmy Johnson pinning her.

But then Claudia wakes up again, she takes a breath and walks over to the American Dream title for comfort, when she walks over, she notices that the Last Word Championship, the title she hanged above the AD title is gone, she frantically looks around for the more prestigious title but is unable to find it.

Jimmy Johnson can be heard manically laughing in the distance. Claudia drops to her knee and cries out "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Into this unforgiving universe

Then Jimmy Johnson wakes up with the last word championship around his waist.

Do pins inside dreams inside of a dream count? Yes apparently so.

(The camera opens in the bullpen of a cubicle strewn office. Standing in front of the window in his regular three piece suit, the Professional holds up The Last Word Championship as the remaining members of Underworld huddle around him.)

"See this little gold strap? I'm going to tell you something about this little gold strap; It's not going to win itself, okay? Without me, it's just a worthless hunk of tin and leather, like a loaded M-16 without a trained marine to pull the trigger. In the case of the championship, it's up to each and every one of you, my highly trained Underworldians, MY KILLERS! my KILLERS WHO WILL NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER! My fucking warriors WHO WILL NOT HANG UP THEIR BOOTS until the opponent either lies down OR FUCKIN' DIIIIIIIIIES!"

(The Underworld mob cheer their fearless general as he enthusiastically runs laps through them, slapping the belt against his head to psyche himself up as he mad dogs and sneers in veracious intensity. Just as soon as he turns on the animalistic rage, he turns it off and slicks back his hair as his followers lean in to listen.)

"Lemme tell you somethin'; There's no nobility in poverty. I have been a rich man and I have been a poor man, and I choose being The Professional every fucking time! Because at least as a Professional I show up to face my problems in the back of a limo wearing a $2000 suit, and a $40,000 gold fuckin' strap!"

(The Professional hucks the title into the crowd of his peers and lowers. Their grubbing and gnarled hands reach for it like fans catching a home run at a baseball game. As Mav catches it, the rest of Underworld clasp onto him.)

"Get it boys! Duke it out! Hit'em! Hit'em! And for anyone here who thinks I'm superficial or materialistic, go get a job flippin' pies for minimum wage at Pizza Hut, 'cause that's where you fuckin' belong!"

(The Underworld in attendance applaud in a standing ovation.)

"But before you depart this room full of winners, I want you to take a good look at the person next to you, go on! because some time in the not so distant future, you'll be pulling up to a red light in your beat up fuckin' Pinto, and that person's going to pull up beside you in a brand new fuckin' porsche, with this beautiful title by their side, that's got big voluptuous side plates, and what are you going to be sitting next to? The American Dream Championship? Hah, keep dreaming my friends. You listen to me and you listen well; Are you behind in the Wanted rankings? Good! pick up that strap and start fighting. Is Wrestleworld ready to evict you? GOOD! Pick up the strap and start fighting. Does your Architect think you're a fucking worthless loser? GOOD! Pick. Up. The. Strap. And. Start. Fighting. I want you to deal with your problems by becoming champions!"

(Underworld cheers in unison)

"All you have to do today...is pick up that belt...and fight the way that I have taught you, and I will make you richer than the most powerful Architect on the entire island of fucking Wrestleworld."

(The Corleone's cheer and shout "Yeah! Fuck Yeah!" while pumping their fists in the air with enthusiasm)

"Now I want you to go out there...and I want you to RAM...Jimmy Johnson's namesake down Drake's throat til they fuckin' CHOKE ON IT!"

(Underworld nods and catcalls 'yeah!' and 'you got this, Pro!' as The Professional sweats and paces in sermon)

"'TIL THEY CHOKE ON IT AND HAVE 100,000 REIGNS! THAT'S WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO"

Claudia Michaels: YEAH! FUCK YEAH!

"YOU BE FEROCIOUS!
YOU BE RELENTLESS!
YOU BE LAST WORD...FUCKING...TERRORISTS!"

(Underworld cheers in unison while dousing themselves in Champaign and tobacco)

"NOW LET'S KNOCK THIS MOTHERFUCKER OUT OF THE PARK!"

(The Professional mimes hitting a homer before diving into the Underworld mosh pit with a mighty scream of a white collar warrior. While being carried by his peers, his Last Word Championship is hoisted in the air next to him. He grabs it and fastens it around his waist as he continues sailing the Underworld wave of humanity as the camera fades to black.)

I realize what you just did and I am so damn proud I'm about to cry.

We shall snort more coke.

Now lay down and let me pin you.

Yes'm.

...Wait...


FUCK!

Oh just you wait, imma swoop in right after you win it back

Oh yeah? Well, we'll see about that

*Takes Finger Poke of Doom from Claudia*

I am going to accomplish the worlds largest pin, by pinning like 40 at ONCE! Where are McGuinness World Records? This has to be the biggest pin